The Reciprocity Of Respect

You do not enforce respect, you earn it.

These words was said by a friend sometimes ago and I saw truth in them. In order to get respected, you have to earn it by first being respectful. If you find it difficult to respect people, then people will also find it difficult to respect you. When you meet people and in your interactions, relationships and dealings with them, it should be laced with respect. I am sure you will love and appreciate when people treat you with respect. In the same way, also try to treat others with the same respect that you want.

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One of the things I have learnt over the time is that respect is not a function of age or status. That is; someone may be younger than you or you may even occupy a higher social status than them, but it is not a call for disrespect. People will tend to respect you more if they remark you for respecting others. Even at the point that you may not agree with someone's point of view or you may not have the same belief or school of thought with them, there is always a way to do it respectfully. Disrespect does not make you appear "cool," rather it even makes you appear bad.

A lot of people have mistaken the concept of respect. One thing to know is that your respect has to be total for it to count as respect. That is, if you respect only your bosses in the office and do not respect the cleaners or the security men or your juniors, then you are not even respectful in the first place. Of course, the true test of your respect is not measured in how you relate with the people that are superior to you, but the people you are superior to. There is nothing to lose by respecting people, rather you gain a lot - at least it will make you a better human.

People are normally quick to associate with the people that are respectful because they will not like anyone disrespecting them, and they will also be quick to help them. This is one of the benefits you get by your acts of respect. I remember one day, during the period of my vacation job when I was in school, two customers came into the organisation at the closing hours of the day. Both of them needed the same service but at that time, the system could only support one request before cutting off for the day. The system was set in a way that at that time, it will cut off and all pending works will have to be done the next day. So I could only do work for just one till it cuts off.

The fact being that both of them came at the same time, so I could not do it on "first come, first serve" basis, so it is left to me to do it based on my choice and discretion. However, one thing happened that helped my choice. When both of them entered, only one was respectful and even greeted when he came in. The other one talked as if the sun rises only in their house; so proud and disrespectful. Well, at that point, you already know who I favoured more; the guy that showed humanity through his respect. It is very normal for someone that shows respect to be favoured more over the one that does not. You see why you have to be respectful at all times.

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One thing to also know is that for you to respect others well, you have to start by respecting yourself. Know when to talk and when to be silent, what to talk and how to talk. All these contribute to self-respect. More so, try to stay out of people's business that does not concern you except you are called upon to do so, or if your opinion is sought-after. Even if they seek for your opinion, you should also do it respectfully and in a humane manner. You will be surprised that the person you disrespected today may be your destiny helper tomorrow and they may become unwilling to help you. You should also not look down on anyone that you see today even if their status is not up to par - remember that you do not know what tomorrow holds for them.

You do not become less of a human by treating other people as humans, rather you fulfil the demands of humanity and it gets you more benefits. I conclude with this quote from the Southwestern part of Nigeria (the Yorubas), and it says:

Kneeling down to greet someone as a sign of respect does not make you shorter.

Thanks for reading