Managing Your Self-ego
Firstly what is an ego?
The part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity.
The ego is a self-generated identity consisting of every belief we believe about who and what we are.
This includes our personality, our talents and our likes/dislikes.
The ego is what keeps us locked away in our minds in an endless cycle of chatter, separated from the present moment.
It is the identity created and reinforced by the story we tell ourselves. Our stories are, however, just that. Stories. They do not make up who we are.
Signs that you are ego driven
1.Lack of presence
Ego driven people continually live in the past and always plan for the future. They never live in the moment. They are always thinking of the next great phase of their life, even when this one is perfect.
By :forgetting to enjoy the present, we set ourselves up to live in an ego-driven limbo.
2.Fear of asking for help
If you are afraid to ask for help, or you don’t want to ask for help because you want all the credit, then your ego is driving you.
- The need to always be right
This is another one of the ego’s most destructive functions. People who have a need to continually be right are headed for the ultimate downfall. These kinds of people will often get far in life because of their persistence and aggressiveness. But, these are also the people that will fail when they are on the brink of MASSIVE success.
Their need to be right will be their downfall and years of hard work can be destroyed in minutes when this portion of the ego takes over. Leaders with this attitude ultimately alienate all those work for them, and eventually stop receiving calls the kind of input that can propel them forward because they are so adamant about being right.
Tips On Managing Your Ego To Create A More Peaceful, Loving Life!
- Stop Taking Things Personally
The ego loves to get offended. It loves to feel wounded and it THRIVES on pain and conflict. When we choose to be offended over things we are actively choosing to allow the ego to take hold of our lives and create pain.
In order to disassociate from this decision and make a different choice, we must recognise that love is our natural state. Humans actually want to connect and feel joy, not misery.
If someone does or says something that makes you feel bad, you have two choices. You can engage in conflict, or you can recognise that the trigger within you is an opportunity for your own growth. You can also choose to recognise that anything said from someone else is likely a projection of their own ego.
It makes engaging with it sort of seem silly, doesn’t it? Two egos going to battle like that? Don’t waste your precious energy.
- Forgive
The ego loves being right. It sustains itself in this way. The problem is it also keeps you from doing what you need to do to move closer to love and truth. The ego is sort of like a weed in this way. It may have pretty flowers for your inner garden, but if left unattended it will choke out all of your other plants and leave you in a big mess.
When you forgive, you allow your heart to open and you separate from the need to be “right” and instead choose love. This is functioning from your true self. Forgive others and forgive yourself too.
- Let Go And Observe
Let go of trying to be right, trying to win, trying to be seen, trying to be heard. Instead, observe.
The ego wants to prove itself and jump up and down to gain love and validation. Our higher self doesn’t need validation. Our higher self knows that it IS love.
By becoming aware of the ego, and its need to be seen heard and acknowledged, you open up space to be seen and heard without expectation.
By observing without expectation you then see things as they are. You see people as they are rather than through a projected sense of lack because they are not matching up to your ego’s demands.
In this space, there is also an opportunity to sit back and observe as to who or who is not functioning from a place where they can offer themselves up emotionally to GIVE love, acceptance, adoration to you. These means we let go of controlling people in an attempt to have our needs met. This is freedom.
There is no denying that the ego serves its purpose. But when the ego becomes the dominant process of your mind, you fall out of alignment with your true self.
With practice, you can learn how to manage your ego better and create a life that feels more peaceful, loving and authentic.
I don't think ego defines our personality, it's simply a misperception or not of who you are.
What you say about the characteristics of the way we relate is excellent and we can make a good ego management our strength.
thank you for sharing
Beautifully written my friend @doyoy. Ego is something personal and many even forget to note that Ego most times if not controlled that do more of bad than good.
Ego somehow have positive or negative side use. It just depends on how we use it but no matter what also we should learn to manage our ego
Very thoughtful and instructive post friend @doyoy. In my very particular opinion, the ego is a kind of "shield" with which we try to protect ourselves from what we consider to be life threats, I consider that it is not bad as long as we dedicate ourselves to cultivating it in a loving way, nor should we allow it to It clouds our vision or takes us away from the opportunity to continue growing as individuals. best regards
I so much love this write-up. It's quite insightful.