We seem to delegate the identity question to circumstance. We are who we are because of our place of birth or our situation. That is human nature and not something that we can blame on any individual. However, humans often find themselves in strange situations where they seem to forgo their essence in favour of personal benefit, or in favour of the benefit of a seemingly unrelated party.

Spies, family murderers, traitors, they are all human. We cannot lazily delegate the explanation of their existence to "they're freaks". Their decisions were accompanied by circumstances which told them it was better to do what they did than the "virtuous" alternative. Virtuous to the observer, of course, since every human sees their own actions as the correct choice.

What makes these people think that treason is correct? Moreover, what makes us create words such as treason?

Let us imagine that Bob has two friends: Alice and Eve. One day, Eve needs a pencil, and Bob feels the urge to steal one from Alice and give it to his other friend. Alice will remain without a pencil. Bob feels that he is friends to both, but in his mind, there is more weight coming from Eve's needs than Alice's. This is a typical situation that humans often face, though not in terms of stealing or pencils, but 1 and 0 decisions that will inevitably favour someone or another, or one circumstance over another.

In fact, this is the essence of decisions. In the blueprint of the life circumstance as described in my previous post, we are like planets with varying degrees of gravity, which grows weaker the farther it is from us. Unlike planets, however, the level of dilution of our sense of identity does not depend on how big or small we are, but simply what our priorities are. What do we feel is ours? Who do we feel are our people, our friends? What are our goals?

Personally, as I stated before, I did not feel like I belonged or that I had any people. In fact, I have often been stranded without myself, imagining my being as a consciousness floating in a random body, picked by accident. My dreams don't help, as I travel from person to person, from perspective to perspective. Another commenter on my previous post expressed a different view, wherein he tries to expand his sense of identity to contain as many people as possible. If I am a minimalist, he is a maximalist.

What direction should our decisions point toward?

One way to live our lives is without a master direction. Many people live like that, simply following what little impulse there is, and if the stimulus suddenly disappeared, they would as well feel very lost. Another way is to understand who we perceive we are, what we perceive our surroundings to be, and then to draw a decision map rationally.

I, for example, see myself as a lone individual in a tide of obstacles. My decisions are therefore to fight the obstacles by steadily rowing toward safer areas, but at the same time, I wouldn't want to end up anywhere, so I always check my map and see if I am going in the right direction, and often adjust without any warning. This makes me unreliable to others because I will, without hesitation, quit something that is not favourable to me.

Others see themselves as citizens of the world and siblings to all, walking on a road to communal salvation. Often, this view takes the shape of utilitarianism: making choices that will favour the majority, taking care not to stir the pot and cause unstable chaos that often brings casualties. Others see themselves as starving lonely wolves, continually looking for sustenance which takes the shape of prey.

All decisions come from our perception, and our perception of the world is tied to the perception of ourselves. We see everything in its relation to ourselves, and never in an isolated manner. Our decisions must, therefore, come from our perception of ourselves. It is essential to recognise this to be able to think carefully about the world. We cannot understand our decisions and the world outside without understanding exactly what we perceive ourselves to be and what our role is in this place we call life.