I love this story! And I will elaborate, at length 😂
If I were writing a book jacket summary it would be: 'Stepping Out' is a tale of a an arduous journey by a desert wanderer and dowser, searching for an oasis to sustain his tribe, while caring for a little plant.
Despite the majority of the action taking place in the desert - an environment that provides you as a writer writer with little variance for creating interest through the landscape - you hooked me with the internal narrative around this man's obsession with caring, and watering his adopted desert succulent plant.
You explored the psychology of the dowser, and his memories through the relationship with this tiny plant, so well, slowly building a picture of his life all set to a backdrop of the suffering of the desert hike. When you do describe the physicality of the desert journey, it's done expertly with brief but visceral descriptive passages which show the brutality of the environment and the man’s stubbornness to persevere through suffrage.
This story reminded me of 'The Old Man and the Sea' by Hemingway in its ability to portray an arduous journey with simple language scattered with beautiful metaphor and imagery, this quality of scarcity of language and careful use of descriptive narrative is like a jewel found glimmering in desert sand.
The ending provided hope and catharsis, while the epilogue expressed a heart aching sadness that left this reader with a tear in their eye.
Ha ha, I went for full on catharsis, and happy endings with my story in response to the prompt The Dinner Party when I wrote it yesterday. But I hope, and think, it is also one that leaves the reader with a tear in their eye at the end. I just noticed that you already read it and commented, I'm going to go and read your comment over my morning coffee
'Stepping Out' is truly a beautiful and well crafted story @letalis-laetitia.
Many thanks for joining us writing at The Ink Well and know you and your writing is valued here. Watch this space
Thank you so so much <3
The day before the prompt came out, i had this really strong feeling about a lone person walking out into the desert with no intention of coming home and I knew it was the startings of a story I needed to tell. It was only when I saw your prompt the rest of it came together, and the plant came into play. I figured eh, who says plants can't be characters lol there something about the simplicity of need of a plant that can be really soothing.
You read this happier than I wrote it, and I am really grateful for that. This is one of those stories I wrote because I needed to hear it, for me it was the story of someone who didn't know how to turn to others, who felt like they were a drain on those around them, taking a Lawrence Oates sort of approach. Stepping out, with no intention of surviving, feeling like that is the best thing he can offer. He took the plant partly so it wouldn't die alone, and partly because, by caring for it at his own expense for so long, he has developed this relationship he wasn't even aware of with him. That sort of comes to a head when he actually runs out of water, and realizes he may be ready to go, but he doesn't want the plant to die as well, and without thinking, starts looking for water. His perception of it valuing/needing him gives him a sense of purpose. By helping it spread its own roots, find its own place, somewhere it can grow into everything it was supposed to be, he finds a bit of himself. There is probably a hint of projection, valuing and caring for the plant in the way he needs, and because he tends to bottle things up, hasn't got. I really like this one, so will probably come back to it for an extra bit of a polish. I can see how its a bit subtle on his intention stepping out though, but then, I don't know, I like how you read it and always feel like there is a lot to be gained from leaving space for things to be read other ways.
You have so accurately surmised what I was attempting to do, oh this has made me so happy! I wanted a story that was almost predictable from early on, that simplicity that takes the focus from the plot, and onto the person. Thank you, I haven't written a proper story like this in a while now and I am so glad I wrote this, and so glad I have somewhere to share, this comment just makes it. Thank you.