It sure tells a great story! Drew me right in. Some great insights and plenty of pathos. Excellent story line. I love this.
I did have trouble with the line you discuss at the end of your post, stupid American am I. I thought you meant how the other drinker viewed Bobby boy - was BB OK? Not that he felt he should have seen that he remained OK by walking him past the bridge.
I just listened to the recording. Spoken, I can understand the line as you meant it to be understood. Very nice job!
I am the worst ever at replying to people, but thank you so much, this was really useful feedback <3 its amazing how internalized my view becomes, and i find it hard to see things from another position, so i am always exceptionally grateful for comments that give me that insight.