Shadow of Myself
Tell me what you used to see
When you looked me in the eye
Before I became the person I am now
Regale me with tales of my misfortune
Stories about how lost I was
When you first found me
Today, I stared at myself in the mirror
I tried so hard to recognise
The person I once was
I strained to see my scared skin
It's all I know, you see
Bits and pieces of my fractured self
In their place stood a mystery
A glowing orb so large and bright
There was no room for shadows
I couldn't find the demons lurking behind
Maybe there was none in the first place
I never noticed as I was used to it
Tell me what you see now
Underneath the sunny layer
I still fear the pain
I dream of it
But I intend to bask in the light
And hold on with everything I've got
Hoping that this time, it lasts
I haven't written a word of poetry in a very long time. The ones I've been sharing were old pieces. This is me trying to put my thoughts into words – the ones I can get a hold of – and hoping that it makes sense. I have this good thing going for me and I'm so scared of it that sometimes I condition myself into believing it's wrong, then I panic because I can't bear to let it go. My mind is a mess, I know. I have no idea how long it'd take for me to recover completely but I'm on that journey.