TEARS INVISIBLE:::episode 3

...my life
Obinna was quite astonished with my action. He gave me a dizzy-gaze as if it would soften my heart to give him reason for my cold action. Even if he cried, my tensed mind would not allow me to open up, it would be better I bought time and memorized what I would say as we preceded to the farm.

"Ugom am not going any further. Am not stepping an inch forward if you don't tell me what the problem is. Ugo you scare me" he said and sat on bare ground, stretched his right arm and cut a cassava leaf stalk, pinched it with wild stares to the sides; his bulged eyes and full beards making his facial look scary this time around.

" What kind of suspense is this nne, tell me" he continued still staring sideways as if keeping those eyes away would make him appear more serious.

Well, I actually pitied him 'cause I must have toiled with his emotion which I never did. I hardly keep things from him but I had no better option in this situation. Even if I would break the coconut, possibly not on the road. People might gather if he did not control himself which I guessed he might not.

"Nna please let's meet at maazi Ogene's palm plantation at sunset tomorrow"
"Emm, Ugom that udara tree near the village square will be better" he replied, this time a bit eased. I waved and moved towards the ube tree. I must have kept the poor woman waiting for long.
"Chukwubugom!"

It was early morning and the best time to make business deals with my vegetable suppliers in preparation for Orie-Avomimi in the next two villages. I counted my savings to know the amount I would order for before mama called.
"Mama, a nam abia oo"

I quickly covered the money with wrapper and went to answer mama.
"Nne please help me refill my medicine pot, I know you will come back late in the evening"
"Oo nne"

I bent to get the clay pot with my busts almost falling out my gown. As I got up, I felt weak and it was as if my brain whirled. At a stage I could not hold it; I helped myself with mama's body who supported my lower back as I fell. I got better minutes later with mama staring mysteriously at me. She dragged me closer as I opened my mouth to say 'thank you, mama'.

Surprisingly, she bent over my chest and pulled out my breasts forcefully; I felt the sharp lines of her fingers. Shyly, I stood immediately pulling my breast curves away from her hands.
"Heeey! Kedu mgbe nke a ji mezie? A nozikwa m!!"

She lamented with trickle of tears running down her cheeks; tears of disappointment!
I was ashamed of myself. The best I could have done were to take care of her through the end and represent the family boldly not putting her through the trauma.
" Mama I am s-o-r-r-y "

I said, deeply moved with tears though not visible. I have stained my poor father's name with a leg-spread and history would not let go of such easily; I was done.

"Shut up this brat! What do you know about being sorry. Just observe your achy tender breasts eeh, the things di heavy! Lee your nipples! Were they this dark and big before? Heeeey!! This girl has pulled my legs out for neighbors to laugh at me. Bia Chibugo!. You started seeing someone without letting your mother know. Ewuuu, the child I carried for ten months with pains, fed with my own breast, ara nke m and nursed up to this age! Is it the sales you began early this year that gave you this morale"

I kept shaking, 'could not utter a letter let alone answer; even if I wanted to, where would I start. What would I tell her that actually happened. what would I tell her was the reason for spreading my legs. There was no reason whatsoever.
"You are keeping quiet eeeh! After educating you..."

She stopped suddenly, picked a broom beside her and stretched her arm aggressively to hit me but I bent to dodge the hit and made my way quickly out of her room. I packed some of the money without counting and rushed out of the compound, chased farther by mama's shouts. I sensed that a day like this would come but not this soon. Papa would be raging with anger and disappointment in the spirit land too. Mama would never expect this from the daughter she trusted with her life; her reason for living as she would always say.

It was already sunset when I got to our village after the deal with Nwanyieke. I had to follow nkwo route to village square to meet up with Obinna.

Full of thoughts and exhausted, I swayed randomly to the sides and dragged my ached feet. I sang gently for an eagle to come and carry me as told in the fairy tale. I felt a firm grip at my lower chest seconds later, my mind struck first at the eagle I sang for; I wondered if the eagle has come to help the poor, tired girl as told, I never imagined those things to be true though I do practice what the tale said .
"Nne m"
"Oo, Obinna"
"Are you scared?"
"Scared kwa? nooo, mana Obinna I smell bad,allow me"
I said pulling his firm grip away.
"Does it matter? You are really tired. Come here" he stooped to allow me climb his back. I could not resist the offer 'cause it was as if my bones would dismantle if I moved farther. I actually felt a bit relieved on his back as if someone has carried my burden already. When we got to the udara tree, he dropped me, sat on the bulged root that projected half way from the earth and allowed me to relax on his chest though I sat between his bent knee. I had to spill what I concealed after his gist on how his trap caught mgbada in the morning.

"Ugom"
He stood,slowly stooped infront of me and stared deeply into my eyes, felt my cheeks and kissed my forehead. I was greatly astonished with his move. I wondered if he actually meant what he did or if that was his way of saying final bye to his Ugo.

TO BE CONTINUED