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RE: THE PATH OF A MYSTIC: My first encounter with an entity || by @festchuks

in SteemAlive3 years ago (edited)

@festchucks, you are already making a great line in your story. I appreciate your caption and your organization of your material, but the manner in which you stopped the story may leave your readers discouraged.

  • "Be careful what you wish for!"
    It was 01:13am, on an October 15th morning. I cannot forget the date because it left a mark on me just like a scar on my black skin.
    It was a full moon and I was fast asleep. Suddenly, the temperature of my room became unbearable cold. I was forced to wake up. And as I woke, I saw the shape of a woman covering the beem of moonlight puring from my huge window.

She simply looked like a shadow with the shape of a chubby woman in her late 30s.
And all the thing this entity did, was stare at me, without moving at all. It just stared. This was too creepy. I have never been more scared in my entire life.

My heart beating so fast that I could literarily feel my bed vibrate as a result of my fast heart beat.

I could not see her face because all I could see, was her dark form covering the light that should have filled her spot if she was not there.

What did i do???
A rethorical question, don't you think?

I often read about what to do if I spotted a ghost in real life during the times I studied my mystical books and meditated but at this moment, my head seemed blanker than an empty page. All I could think of, was how my end must have come and how to run away from this dark presence...

many thoughts drifted in and out of my head as I tried to put myself together.
I didn't know what to do, I was afraid, I thought I had read a secret about the universe which I am not supposed to read, and now an entity is there to hunt and kill me for over knowing.

I was hoping you could tell us what you wished in this line.
Altogether, it is a good story you have here... Keep it up. You have a great writing skill!

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Really great observations you've made there. Iets just consider my pattern a matter of style. I believe Stories don't always go as we expect. That's what makes the unpredictable interesting.

I'm glad you like it, as you haven't been discouraged by the suspense, I'm pretty sure there are many others who would appreciate the organization just like you do.

Thanks Alot @mobibliss for your great observation. Would look forward to you making more observations in connected coming post.
Kind regards!!

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