Piglet (film): Absolutely awful... I can't believe it was even made

So a fellow film buff friend of mine and myself were talking the other day and he remarked about how various copyrights on famous characters are expiring or already have expired and this is why some films about certain fictional characters such as Pooh are able to be used in films these days. I was unaware of this and don't even know if it is true but recently he discovered a film called "Piglet" that was a horror film and as a fan of horror films, even extremely low-budget horror films, I thought that this could be a lot of fun if it is done well.

I was a bit turned off by the nearly 3/10 rating that it had on IMDB but at the same time, some of the low-budget horror films that I have seen in the past were very low-rated but are things that I really enjoy. Well, it only took about 18 minutes of me watching Piglet to realize that this was not going to be one of those hidden gems that I was hoping it would be.

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I knew nothing going into this film and I didn't care enough to look. The only reason why I knew it was rated so low is because the Plex app automatically puts up the rating, I presume from IMDB on the screen when you are selecting a film or series to watch. The story is something I can't say I entirely know but the scene starts out with 3 hapless security guards transporting what we are told is a horribly disfigured prisoner who is crudely chained to the wall in the middle of the woods that conveniently breaks down halfway to wherever they are going.

hmmmm. I wonder what is going to happen here?

Now I don't mind this sort of really predictable storytelling because we all know that the imprisoned creature is going to break free. The problem I have is that typically films will sink the major part of their entertainment into the start of every film in order to get the attention of the viewer. But this scene alone showcases that the people who made this thing were definitely out of their element and instead of simply embracing that and going with doing something they DO have and attempting to do it well, instead they tried to go for high-budget gore with no budget and it just looks really stupid.

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The scene itself kind of irritated me as well because look, this is supposed to be a very dangerous criminal but he is crudely attached to the wall with regular chains that he can clearly get out of and yeah yeah, I know that he needs to escape in order for the story to progress but it just looks cheap. Also, that room they are filming in is clearly not the same vehicle that they show in the exterior shots for so many reasons. One of the main ones being that the vehicle, shown from the outside, has no windows but there are clearly windows viewable on the interior shots.

I get that they had no budget but some sort of continuity would be nice, wouldn't it?

So surprise surprise, Piglet breaks free and easily overpowers the 3 guards one of which he mangles while the woman that is also in the van simply stands there and screams for 45 seconds despite the fact that she has a gun in her hands. Once Piglet finished crushing the skull of the main guard and heads towards her, she just starts to cry and drops her gun never firing a shot. I think it would have been a much better story if she had shot him but dude feels no pain. Of course this opens up a world of other questions such as how did they get him chained up in the first place but whatever... go on film.

Then the 3rd guard is standing outside the vehicle and I guess it was meant to be a reflection on society because he isn't even paying attention and is completely wrapped up in his phone and headphones and didn't even hear any of the commotion in the back of the trailer that is left wide open even though they are meant to be transporting a very dangerous criminal type.

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Something kind of funny happens after that, which is something I think only people who were alive in the 80's will appreciate. The acting remains awful but then we find ourselves conveniently in the middle of the woods at a place with no mobile phone technology functioning at a camp of sorts where all the women just happen to be eye candy. All of the girls are there to celebrate their friend's 21st birthday and they selected this location because of course this is what hot chicks in their 20's really want to do to celebrate a birthday.

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It's completely ridiculous and is such an iconic and omnipresent feature that was in almost any slasher film in the 80's. Get an overpowered baddie, throw in some hot chicks that seem to, more than anything else, to get naked as often as possible. Prior to the existence of the internet and therefore widespread access to porn, people would rent films like this specifically for this reason.

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Just like in all the movies from the 80's, anytime anyone decided that some particular time was a good time for "sexy time" there was going to be a bloodbath shortly thereafter. It is also kind of funny that this tight-knit group of friends seem to be completely oblivious as to why one of their friends simply isn't around anymore and the others will come up with reasoning like "she must have went for a walk in the woods to clear her head" and well, naturally, the only logical thing to do now is to split up and go and look for her... but first, someone needs to take a sexy shower while the others head out into the woods. Well guess where Piglet happens to focus his attention?

I will give the film some credit for nostalgia-bait and parts of it appealed to me only because I was one of the teenagers who would endure this nonsense in the 80's simply to get to see some boobs, even if those boobs ended up invariably getting murdered shortly thereafter.

This film actually could have been ok had it not been for them aiming to try to make the kills look more realistic than they do. In the effort to accomplish that it cheapens the entire thing to an even cheaper level than a movie with a budget of what had to be less than $100,000. I don't know what their budget was because this film is so under the radar that this information can't be found. If you watch it though, you will quickly realize that they certainly didn't have very much budget and this was likely just an opportunity for hot women who can't really act to try to pad their resume to have SOMETHING to give to their agent.

Should I watch it?

For a vast majority of people this is going to be an easy hard "NO." I suppose certain parts of it are fun for the nostalgia but the above trailer is actually about 10x as good as the actual film. There is only so much boobs and butts that can be shown in a 90 minute film and honestly, if that is what you are in it for, we all have the internet I am presuming unless someone printed this writeup out for you to read in your study.

It's nonsensical and that is fine, but the lack of money they had for the actual gore, which is honestly the most important part of any slasher film, is quickly evident and the story is just stupid. So yeah, maybe skip through it if you want to be reminded of how little we demanded of films in the 80's but other than that, this one has very little in the way of redeeming qualities.

Oh and it also has no connection to the Winnie the Pooh story in any way whatsoever.

_{This film can be legally streamed on Shudder, a streaming service that specializes in horror titles and costs very little (for a reason). It may exist on other streaming services but I can't find them}