My simple happiness with Fatiya (Self-reflection)

Why do I have to work hard 5-6 days a week just to get a day or two off? Working a whole year just to get a week off? Is it worth it? So why do we want to work that way? Is it to enjoy the world of work or to make the people we love happy?

What I say is very objective, meaning it depends on each individual. However, for most people, especially where I live, they work hard every day to make their family happy. Yup "family" is the keyword. They earn a living to make their family happy. Unfortunately after working for a long time looking for income sometimes until late at night and the family is neglected. Isn't that meaningless??

I once had to work hard for 6 months away from my family and only got 2 weeks off, ironic isn't it?, I did that for years. Finally, I decided to work just to meet basic needs, and to save a little when possible. The rest, I use my time to be with my family.

The personal experience I want to convey here is about my time away from my family. It will be a bit of a boring story, but...here it is.

In 2007 I became one of the IFRC staff who was carrying out Humanitarian Relief operations on the Nias Islands. My position as Logistics and Supply Chain Senior Officer is tasked with ensuring all imports of Temporary Shelters, totaling 22,250 units, for the distribution area of ​​Aceh and Nias, North Sumatra.

Starting from Oktober 2007 I was given the task of opening a new operational area on Nias, from the initial preparatory survey to preparing an adequate port for landing craft weighing 1000 tons, warehouses, and open storage covering an area of ​​10,000 M2. In the next stage, I have to prepare distribution routes and ensure that all access roads are compacted so that trucks with a 15-ton load can pass without any problem. In the end, I also had to run the operations of receiving goods from Bangkok as well as distribution, and many other things.

There was no time to relax in the first 6 months of operation, and all the work felt even harder because the facilities available were very limited. The internet network is limited, but every 4 pm we always have to make a conference call with the Jakarta representative office, the Asia Pacific logistics representative office in Kuala Lumpur, and also the Geneva head office.

Housing items that come in with Landing craft at 3 am or midday must be immediately unloaded because time and cost efficiency mean we have to work up to 36 hours non-stop. Especially as an operational supervisor, I have to ensure zero mistakes and hazards. This will be very tiring and there will be no time to rest.

For the first 6 months, I was only able to go home once, and that was because I received news that my oldest child, Aurora, would probably be born the next day. With hasty preparations, I applied for leave for a week to see my first child arrived. You can imagine how I as a father faced the birth of my first daughter. Anxiety, fear, and worry haunted me throughout the journey from my work area in Lahewa, North Nias, a 6-hour journey using a multi-terrain bike along a muddy and narrow road. Next, take a flight from Gunung Sitoli (capital of the Nias Islands) to Medan, North Sumatra for 1 hour. Upon arrival in Medan, as soon as I turned on my cell phone, the first news I read was that my first daughter Aurora had been delivered, our first beautiful girl had come home safely, and her mother was also safe and healthy. Thankfully, the panic subsided, and the feeling of wanting to get home quickly grew, but again I had to be patient because from Medan city I had to take a night bus for another 6 hours to my village.

At 3 am I got off at the edge of the empty main road with a small daypack. The journey doesn't end here, because I have to walk another 1 km through unoccupied lands. After all, in 2007 there weren't many houses on either side of the road. I walked fast, I could get home in 10 minutes. Very happy after almost 20 hours of travel from Lahewa until arriving home.

The point is not there, but just as I was accompanying my wife and Aurora who was 3 days old, I was contacted by the Kuala Lumpur Asia Pacific logistics representative office to return to Medan to handle import and clearance issues at the Belawan International Sea Port. Due to an obstacle, I even had to go to the Klang International Sea Port, Selangor, in Malaysia.Hmmm... sounds very important person, right!, but the fact was; I was just someone who had to do the job!

The birth of my second child also happened in the same way when I worked at the World Vision International agency in Padang, West Sumatra. Then my third child, when she really needed me, I had to go for 8 months to work as a Construction Manager for building a reservoir in West Sumatra. Again????.

All three little princesses of mine really needed me at that time, but we only got to meet once every 3 or 6 months. The rest of them got to know their father by telephone. My first child, Aurora, I left at the age of 3 days, came home to visit her at the age of 6 months, then at the age of 1 year, and finally had time to carry out work in Banda Aceh in 2009 after 2 weeks of living with them, Aurora only realized that I was her father when he's 2 years old. So pathetic, wasn't it?

Then when my fourth daughter was born I was also on a field assignment in the Pidie Jaya area, and in a hurry to go home immediately took my wife who was in pain to the hospital, 10 minutes after arriving at the hospital on February 2, 2022, at 19:00: 15 Fatiya, my 4th princess, was born, I haven't had enough time her, then I had to go back to the field to complete program from donors which was one of the oil and gas companies which at that time was conducting exploration in Aceh.

The childhood of my three princesses passed by without me being the one who was supposed to be with them to play and learn together. The golden moments when my children really need me pass by with disappointment in their hearts. Now it's too late because they are older and already teenagers, they have their own way of playing. They are closer to their mother and grandmother than to me. Who should I blame? Obviously, It was me the one who did not give priorities, but that's not entirely the case either. I also do it because of the professional responsibility that I cannot avoid.

I don't want to repeat the same mistake a fourth time. Now I spend more time with little Fatiya. As far as possible, I no longer work outside the area without bringing my family with me or even trying to earn an income by staying close to them.

^{My family at home}

This is also what I suggested to my friend @goodybest when I read about her plans to go on holiday with her family to the beach which is only 2 hours away. I say not to delay any longer before it's too late.

I have felt something like that many times until I decided that it was time for me to spend more with my family than with my work outside. Even though it's not completely possible at the moment, I will gradually move in that direction.

^{Fatiya and I spend quality time in the coffee shop while watching her favorite cartoon}

Today I was with Fatiya, accompanying her to play, until she asked to come along with me to the coffee shop office and I took her along. We really enjoyed Quality Time until I finished performing the Maghrib prayer. Watching cartoons together laughing and telling fun stories. Today my laptop is completely under her control, then she is so happy to be able to watch cartoons on a wider screen. When she laughed out loud watching Donald Duck and Tom and Jerry, other visitors were amazed because she didn't think laughing out loud like that was something wrong. I also don't say a word about it as long as it doesn't disturb other visitors. Coincidentally there were lots of empty tables this evening.

When else, if not now!, will I be with her and spend time together playing and learning? The day after tomorrow, maybe I will be the first to leave, so what beautiful memories will I leave for them??

Working to earn an income is important, but creating happiness for my family is much more important to me. No need to stay in a luxury hotel, or go on holiday abroad, just create a big laugh on their faces. That's a luxury for me. I don't need a luxury car to make my family laugh happily, just a second-hand motorbike, a cup of coffee, and a funny story will make Fatiya laugh with satisfaction. It doesn't need to be every day, just 2 or 3 times a week I make time for it.

The most luxurious beach tourism in Indonesia is Bali from the view of many people, but for me who has lived there for work, I would say that the most beautiful beach is the beach close to my house in Panton Labu, because I can go there with my family and relax watching the children play until they feel enough whit it.

A beautiful place to travel is not a guarantee that it will provide happiness if it is not with the people we love. If we are with the people we love, a simple place in the back garden will also be the most beautiful place in the world.

Driving a sports car or even a private luxury jet will not bring comfort to my soul if it does not bring happiness to those whom I love.

Enjoying a cup of cheap coffee and accompanying Fatiya to watch films gives more happiness. Tonight I share this simple writing with my close friends too so that I can spread the happiness that I feel, which is also a luxury in itself.

As long as you, the people I love, are happy, then I will always be happy. Continue to be happy because I love you.

Always happy for you my friends

Regards

El Nailul