RE: "Let's talk!" №27 - "Severity or kindness?" // "Давайте поговорим" №27 - "Строгость или доброта?"
This is another good topic to talk about. As parents we punish our children not just because we want to, but because we have to shape them for the future and make them better people.
In my opinion children should be watched by their parents. A parent should observe a child closely to know what kind of character they are developing.
Children seem to act the same but they are all different. Some children are easy to teach and bring up without much punishment, some need to be punished but are easily corrected by it, while some
others need an extra punishment.
In such a situation you should work with the kind of character the child is coming up with. Some children may change for that period just to get you to lift the punishment and the moment you lift it and turn your back, they go back to that same thing you punished them for.
The fact that the child is the one asking you to lift it is tricky. If you saw the good attitude and decide to lift,, it is ok. But when the child seems to have changed and is asking you to lift it, you should not be quick to lift it without much observation, being that it's not a very difficult punishment. With much observation of your children as a parent you will know when the punishment you gave them has yielded some results.
I truly believe this statement is very important. What parents mean by shaping their children? Making them a better individual for the society? that's accurate. As a matter of fact have any single parent ever considered to make their small humans a better individual for themselves and not for others.
The best thing I read this week on internet was;
Also I trust, don't punish them this much that they get used to it. Teach them with love after all you spent 30 years on this planet but still are half empty, we can't expect from those tiny humans to be full. They learn what they see, try to understand them, and not make them understand.
Yes there comes a time when we will not be there to make decisions for them and they will have to make decision based on what we have instilled in them.Most times in life you do not just do what you want to because your decision can seem good to you but would affect others negatively. That's why if you must punish a child then it has to be for the best. I did not understand when my parents punished me when I was little, but today I am grateful to them because it shaped me. One day they will be grateful to you. You must also be cautious, that's why I said know the kind of child you have so you will know the extent of punishment to give them.After punishing my kids I talk to them and make them understand that I am doing it because I love them.
I totally understand your point kids should be taught life, but i will be happy if you agree with me that only 1% of kids deserve punishment and that they will learn a lot from their life in future. We can't teach everything somethings are to be learnt while you grow up.
Yes they do learn while growing up.but they may learn it the hard way then. So why not save them the stress.