*FRACTURED TRUST: THE UNSPOKEN PAIN*

Hello everyone in Steemfamily, i am emmathompson.
I hope your day was fine because mine was fine too.

Welcome to my post!

I am writing this post for every single person and married couple here in Steemit, especially those who are facing one marriage challenge or the other. I would like to apologize first to the leaders of this Steemit community if i have not adhered to the rules and regulations governing the community as a Newbie. I believe this post will be a very important article for someone out there and on this platform.

I plan on making this post quite a understandable and interesting guide for you. This post is all about in fidelity in marriage. This topic is so wide. It covers a part for a woman and a man. In ordee for this post to be comprehensive enough, i have decided to split the topic into two parts A and B.

The part A (woman), which is the scope of this post will be broken up into seven sections:

1. What is marriage?

2. Who is a woman?

3. What is cheating according to a woman?

4. Why women cheat?

5. Signs of a woman's infidelity

6. Consequences of her action

7. Final considerations and morals.

8. WHAT IS MARRIAGE?

Marriage has several definition depending on individuals. To me marriage is a legal union between a man and a woman. To many people, marriage is a legally and socially sanctioned union between two individuals, typically involving emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual commitments.
It involves, emotional bond, commitment, partnership, intimacy, financial unity, social recognition, family (building a life together, potentially including children).

1. WHO IS A WOMAN?

If you ask people on the street or interview them about who a woman is, you will be shocked for the definitions you will obtain. All the definitions you will get coimed to one meaning.
A woman is an adult female person. This definition encompasses various aspects of womanhood, including biological, social and culture dimensions. In otherword, when a female being passes the stage of a teenager she becomes a woman.

Yes, that's a common perspective. In many cultures, a female is considered a woman after passing adolescence, typically around 18-21years old. This transition is often marked by physical, emotional and social changes.

(i) Physical changes:

• puberty (12-18 years old)
• menstruation
• development of secondary sex characteristics (breasts, hips etc)

ii) Emotional and social changes:

• increased independence
• self - identity formation
• exploring relationship and intimacy
• taking an adult responsibilities.
  These and whatever you know already sum up for the idea of this section.

1. WHAT IS CHEATING ACCORDING TO MEN ?

Cheating, according to many men encompasses various forms of infidelity, emotional disconnection, and betrayal.

(a) Types of infidelity

• physical infidelity: kissing, touching and sexual intimacy with someone other than her husband.
• Emotional infidelity: Deep emotional connection with someone outside the marriage relationship which she may call "just a friend", or virtual relationship (this is very common)
• Financial infidelity: secret spending, hiding financial information from her husband
  (b) Non- physical Forms of Cheating;
• Emotional withdrawal: Withholding affections attention
• Lack of communication : Ignoring, dismissing the husband's needs.
• Dishonesty: Lying, hiding truths
• Disrespect: Belittling, criticizing her husband.

Right now you may be saying, men also get involves in all the above mentioned activities.yes!
You are right. That is why this post is divided into two parts.
You may also which to know the reason why women consider cheating! That will be ememrated in the next section of this post.

In summary infidelity is the connection that one partner has for someone outside the marriage relationship against the happiness of the other partners.

1. WHY WOMEN CHEAT

No one on earth can tell exactly or give a reason women cheat. This sounds somehow right?
Let me explain to your understanding.
A woman is a special person cherish by many men. It's is funny right?

A woman can cheat for this and can also she can cheat for what she hears and what she doesn't hear.
A woman can also cheat for something and can also cheat for nothing.
She can cheat for a big thing and for small thing. Which ever way, women have so many reasons for cheating.

Someone once said, " Wealth and Riches cannot stop a woman from cheating. An average or middle class man cannot stop a woman from cheating. A poor man cannot stop a woman from cheating. Being strong and powerful or weak cannot stop a woman from cheating.
And the question was who then can stop a woman from cheating? The answer was, the only person who can stop a woman from cheating is the woman herself. If she wants to cheat, she will cheat and if she doesn't want to cheat nothing will make her cheat."
Impressive right!

Meanwhile, those who chose to cheat considered the following reasons;

• Lack of emotional connection: Women want to feel seen, heard and understood. If they are not getting that from their partner, they might seek it else where.

• Unhappiness in the relationship: Women may cheat if they feel trapped, unhappy, or unfulfilled in their relationship.

• Low self esteem: Women may seek validation and self worth through external sources including affairs.
  -. Lack of sexual satisfaction: women may cheat is their partner is not satisfying them sexually.
  

• Unmet Emotional or Physical Needs: Women may cheat if their partner is not meeting their emotional or physical needs.
  Felling Neglected: Women may cheat if they feel ignored or neglected.

• Lack of communication: Poor communication can lead to feelings of isolation.

• Dishonesty: Women may cheat if their partner is lies or hides truths.

• Desire for Revenge: Women may cheat as a revenge for partner's infidelity.

1. SIGNS OF INFIDELITY

• Changes in appearance or grooming
• Increased secrecy
• Unexplained absences or travel
• Decreased intimacy or affection
• Withdrawal from marriage or relationship discussion
• Hostility when questioned
• Unsual phone calls, chats or computer behavior.
• Hidden or deleted messages and account.
• Unexplained expenses or purchases
• Emotional distracing or detachment
• Lack of interest in husband's life
• Increased criticism or complaints
• Feeling trapped or suffocated
• Constant comparing husband with others
• Unusual social media chatting pattern
• Unexplained personal smile
• Sudden interest in social media or online platforms
• Different perfume or cologne
• Changes in sexual behavior or interest
• Increased fitness or exercise routine
• Unexplained weight loss or gain

The above information may not always mean a sign of infidelity. Any woman may choose to engage in any of those mentioned act without cheating.

1. CONSEQUENCES OF INFIDELITY
   The following are consequences of infidelity:

• Betrayal and mistrust
• Hurt and anger
• Guilt and shame
• Emotional distress or trauma
• Loss of self-esteem or confidence
• Feelings of rejection or abandonment
• Anxiety or depression
• Relationship damage or termination
• Long-term emotional scars
• Separation or divorce
• Difficulty rebuilding trust
• Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
• Unplanned pregnancies
• Physical harm or violence
• Sleep disturbance or fatigue
• Weakened immune system
• Increased blood pressure
• Mental health concerns ( anxiety and depression)
• Addiction or substance abuse
• Finally, in some cultures or traditions the consequences of infidelity in those days severe.

In my community in Akwa Ibom State, there was a certain belief called, "Ekpo Nka-owo", and it was implemented to reduce infidelity among the women. I shall further explain "Ekpo Nka-owo" in the Part B of this article.

1. FINAL CONSIDERATIONS AND MORALS

Maybe you have screwed up or jumped all the six sections above to be here. You really would like to know the general view of this post. You are welcome!
If you are a man reading this post, and you think this post is for you, go back to section four(4) of this post and read over again before returning to this section.

There is no justification for infidelity. And so, the reasons for cheating in mentioned in section four of this post are lies that some women used in order to justify themselves for their actions.
Any woman who cheats purposely want to cheat, not because of any reason. Yes! Because there are several women who had faced such challenges or even worst in their relationship or marriage and still stay faithful.
In summary:

• So much money or lack of money is not a yardstick for infidelity.
• Any couple who consider the feelings of the partner will not cheat.
• There is no trophy ever won for cheating on your husband.
• If you wouldn't like your husband to cheat on you, why doing it or trying to do it?
• Stop it!
• Resist the feelings!
• Get closer to your husband.
• Stop comparing him to other men!
• Do your marital duties, communicate well and respect him.
• Put your family in order... These are some of your responsibilities.

Note: You are a virtuous being and without you, there is no family, no church or mosque and no society.

If you really want to amend your ways and have a good marriage, meet a Psychologist, a Counselor or explore the Internet for more solutions. Enough is enough! Your husband deserves better. Do not hurt him if you are planning to ,and don't hurt him anymore if you had donw it already.
Love is a beautiful thing!

Thank you my fellow steemians for reading.

Lastly, check back for the Part B (men) of this article which i will be dropping soon.

#emmathompson

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