Why A Person Comes to Their Parent's House to Get Support-Two Scenarios

It depends on the situation. In the US these are two scenarios that might arise.

Scenario One:
Sometimes an adult son or daughter may need shelter to get back on their feet if there is some unexpected setback. Totally understandable. Kudos to the parents and prayers for the adult son or daughter.

Short History
Julia had just graduated the university and in her mid twenties decided to volunteer for a government project. Building simple dwellings for the poor. She knew nothing about building things but was ready to learn. She felt she wasn't ready to enter the working world and all the pressures that come with pursuing a career in psychology. Everything went well building the little houses for the first six months and she was happy with her team, young men and women determined to make a difference. Help others. Everything was supplied. There was no compensation. They were volunteers.

But after some time pressures began to appear. One of men, Ralph, started harassing her for sex. She wasn't attracted to him at all and it became an irritation. One of the other women, Andrea, had an attitude. She was more important than everyone else since she was in charge of scheduling and supplies and wrote up the weekly reports. The food that was supplied was not something Julie could eat regularly for a long period of time. It was heavy in starch. Potatoes every day.

It started to wear on her that she may have done about all she could do and it was time to leave. But she had signed a commitment for one year and it had only been six months. What to do?

The situation got worse. She was assigned clean up. That's all she did all day was clean up after everyone else. Actually it was a good lesson in humility but Julie wasn't quite ready for it. One day she exploded. Andrea "ordered" her to clean up around the porta potties. Everyone was getting ready to sit down for the picnic lunch of potato salad and tuna fish out of cans. It was the last straw. Totally out of character for her, Julie took a handful of potato salad and from quite a distance away accurately threw it at Andrea. The little clump of gooey potato salad hit Andrea smack dab in the side of the face. Greg the supervisor, fuming, took Julie aside, "If you were a man I'd ...." And raised his fist high over Julie's face. Greg shoved Julie off the property and threw Julie's belongings out into the street in front of the construction site and yelled. "Don't come back!"

Julie was in trauma. She need some time to put herself back together emotionally. Figure out what to do with herself. All her education in psychology and here she was unable to help herself. She arrived on her parents doorstep a complete wreck. Distraught, hair disheveled, eyes red with tears and anxiety. Her parents were so unhappy to see her in such a state. Julie explained honestly what had happened and they were more than willing to put her up until she could find her way. After several weeks her path became clear and the trauma subsided. She was hired by a private institution for care of emotionally disturbed children. Julie did not forget how awful her own the experience had been. Her compassion found no limitation.

Scenario Two
Sometimes an adult son or daughter may try to take advantage of parents who have a lot of money thinking "Why should I have to work? My parents have more than enough money to support me and wouldn't even miss it." This might not work out so well in the long run. If the parents cave in to the demands the son or daughter it will be stunt their maturity, missing out on lessons that can only be learned by serving in some capacity or other and receiving payment. The parents would do well by their son or daughter to take the stance of "tough love" forcing their offspring to get counselling or leave. Sink or swim. It's a tough one. But necessary. Kudos to those parents and prayers for the adult son or daughter.

Short History:
Erik did nit finish his education at the university and had become influenced by some of his peers to experiment with substances. He had quickly immersed himself in the devil's lettuce (marijuana) and mushrooms and lost track of time and a regulated life. When he did attend a class he couldn't focus at all and just sat there dazed with the last piece of music he had been listening to playing in head. When it came time for him to write a thesis for his English history class he couldn't do it. And it was a necessary assignment for completing the course. He gave up. He quit school.

He couldn't work either. He couldn't hold a job down. Erik had developed a substance abuse pattern. His friends were all in the same boat although a couple of them managed to graduate. He moved in with Charlotte. Her parents were supporting her. She too had developed a substance abuse problem. They were together for a few months but she got tired of Erik. He had become physically repulsive, unclean in his habits and insisted on intimacy as his primary activity all day.

Charlotte kicked Erik out. "Go home." So that's what he did. His parents felt so badly for him. He had become more or less a shadow of his former vibrant self. They worried about his health. They were hesitant to seek professional help and thought to first try to help him with love and kindness. That he would "snap out of it." Erik wasn't doing any snapping however. He was more into napping. He was way too strung out to do anything other what he had been doing, which was nothing. He played games on his laptop all day. Weaseled a little money out of his parents and managed to get high without them knowing. This went on for over a year.

One day his parents had had enough. The atmosphere in the house was just awful. Erik's presence seemed to saturate every nook and cranny, still unclean with obnoxious smells coming from his body and dark thoughts emanating from his mind. When they approached him about seeking counseling. He refused.

One day they sat down with him. His mother began to speak, "Erik, you know we love you and only want the best for you. Sometimes there are tough decisions in life. Your father and I have decided that we will offer you a one-way plane ticket to anywhere in the world. Anywhere... one way. But you cannot stay here any longer. You need to find your way in life."

It was just what Erik needed. He accepted the ticket offer and turned his life around. He was off to India to find a guru. In a dream Lord Siva had come to him.

Anyway, I know the stories are a little far fetched... But they give some idea of why someone may end up back in their "old room".

Actually, real life is way more far out than fiction.

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