What is a frame?

According to merriam webster, a frame is: an open case or structure made for admitting, enclosing, or supporting something.
This is a physical frame but there is also a mental frame that we use for anything that we experience.

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The way we react to something is what makes us feel it more or less painful, on a physical as well as on a mental level.

I know this may sound a bit strange to you but I will give an example:
Suppose you are doing jogging in the park and, all of a sudden someone tackles you, it will make you so mad and you will probably beat the guy or call the police. Even if the guy gets arrested, this experience will have a huge impact on your life.
Now think about getting tackled while playing football, this time maybe you will still get angry, but eventually, you will just get up and continue to play like nothing happened, and probably you will even be more motivated than before.

So in these two episodes, there is no difference in the thing that was done to you and yet your reaction was so different. The thing is that this reaction you have is automatic because very often we find ourselves on autopilot.
Now, this example might seem stupid and you might think that it is useless but,

What if you could control the frame that is surrounding your experiences?

Many people are convinced that we can change this frame and therefore control the way we react to certain things.
The Stoics understood the importance of the frame and they believed it to be one of the most important things one should understand in order to become a happier and more successful person.

One of the famous stoics that understood this was Marcus Aurelius, He said:
"If you are distressed by anything external the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your estimate of it. And this you have the power to revoke at any moment."

So whenever something bad happens to us we should always take the time to analyze that thing, to try to see the good in the bad. This is not a recipe for solving all problems, but just by stopping and thinking we can easily change the outcome of any bad thing that happens to us.

Learning to see the glass half full instead of half-empty can make a big difference...
If you stop and think carefully you will realize that we are the ones that create most of our problems.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” — Epictetus

I would like to end this post with this very interesting quote followed by one little story by Epictetus.
There is the story of the alcoholic father with two sons. One follows in his father’s footsteps and ends up struggling through life as a drunk, while the other becomes a successful, businessman. Each of them is asked: “Why are you the way you are?” The answer for both is the same: “Well, it’s because my father was an alcoholic.”

The same event, the same childhood, two different outcomes. This is true for almost all situations — what happens to us is an objective reality, how we respond is a subjective choice. The Stoics believed that we can not control what happens to us, but we can control our thoughts and our reactions to what happens to us.