Dream or obsession

I've been thinking about my figure for the last few days. I'm interested, the idea is to reach a weight of 50 kg, this is really my comfortable form, and what I really dream of? Or it is a banal trend, and I want to match and be in the top. I don't have an answer yet.

As a child and youth, I was thin, but I never had a flat stomach))) Even when I was doing sports aerobics, you couldn't see the Pres cubes)) Once I had a weight of 50 kg. When I gave birth to my son, and so that his tummy did not hurt, at some point I only ate buckwheat. I probably felt constantly hungry for a whole year, and I didn't have the opportunity to eat when I wanted to. It was stressful for me, and when I saw the 50kg mark, I thought I was sick))) Here is such a sad experience with the "weight of dreams".