How to get people to take you seriously and listen to you
Getting people to take you seriously enough to listen to you and do what you want is a skill that is needed by many, in different areas of life. It is one skill that is required by any and everyone who aspires to be relevant.
It is the ability to draw, hold, and use effectively the attention gotten from others. It is no trick or magic, but a deliberate move that can be applied to get results. So, if you are in any leadership role, be you a parent, a boss, a manager or only an alpha in a group, I think you'd love this.
Except you want to use the stupid act of manipulation to get done what needs to be done, your best bet is to take note of and use the three-pointer tip I will soon be sharing with you.
I know a woman whose daughter, in my opinion, was spoilt and over-pampered. I mean, I have watched this woman correct her child with weak tones and half-hearted scolding, and a part of me imagined what I would do to the disobedient child if she was mine. She would behave better, I believed.
My view of the woman (weak parent, indecisive, etc.) changed one day.
I don't know what was different about that day, maybe she was in a bad mood, or she had had enough of her disobedient daughter, but I saw a difference in the way she demanded obedience from her.
That day, the girl picked up something off the floor, and her mother demanded that she dropped it. In her usual way, she ignored her mother and acted deaf. I was already getting irritated and a little angry at her display of stubbornness, as I expected it to be business as usual. I was wrong.
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I heard the game change and had to switch my focus from the girl to her mother.
"Put it down, I said," her mother's voice gave no room for argument, disobedience or disregard.
I wasn't the only one surprised, the child was too. She looked at her mother intently for a couple of seconds, maybe judging how serious her mother was, then she slowly put the stuff down.
It was evident that she recognised when the game changed, she realised when it was serious business, and she fell in line. I don't know what she feared that her mother would do, but obviously, she believed that her mother would do whatever it was she feared.
The above story serves as a little depiction of what happens if you follow these three points. Take note of them if you want people to listen to you, do what you want them to do, and get some results.
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Mean What You Say: This point may sound unimportant, but most people have no idea how often they request or demand something they don't really want. Sometimes we just say things we don't mean. If you are leading a people, if you need action, never request or demand what you don't really mean or expect.
The reason you shouldn't is that you won't be taken seriously and you won't earn respect. Aside from the need of respect, when you don't mean what you are saying, the tone and force of conviction will be missing. This force is what should announce the need for attention and call to action. Without this force, the second point is almost impossible.
Believe What You Say: There is no way you can believe what you don't mean. The need for belief is so much that without it, you are talking but not telling. When you believe, you already see what you ask for, and you expect it to come to reality.
Meaning what you say and believing it is what would make your listeners take notice and listen. Because you believe, every fibre of your being testifies to this truth. It is portrayed in your voice, your choice of words, your stance, the look in your eyes, the way you enunciate; everything tells the same story: I am serious, and you better take me seriously.
Follow Through: This point reveals if you are a liar or if you have some spine or not. Whatever repercussion, reward, or consequence that was promised or insinuated to come, depending on the action or inaction of your followers or listeners, make sure it happens.
If you promised a raise, give it. If disobedience means a query, give one. If you told the children that they would be grounded, ground them. If you promised them ice-cream, buy them the best you can afford.
Keeping to your word, whether pleasant or not, is a sign of integrity and a proof of decisiveness. No one follows an indecisive person. This point is not a call to vindictiveness, wickedness or meanness. No, that's not what this is. This is a call to employ the cause and effect process.
There is a consequence for every action taken or not taken. Make it as clear as possible when making the request or giving the demand. Don't threaten, but make clear what is at stake. In the end, follow through with your word. If you don't follow through, there is a high possibility that you will be ignored next time you speak, and that's a waste of influencing opportunity.
Getting people to listen and follow is what sets leaders apart. Some people are leaders through and through, because of their mannerisms, while some are just figurative leaders.
To be able to influence people, be they your seniors, your mates or your subordinates, these tips come in handy. Use them and watch the world follow you.
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PS: You bear the overall consequence of whatever action you request or demand, so ensure you do your research, think critically, and have some experiential evidence, then build your belief on these data. Make sure your motive is pure and that you realise what the possible repercussion of your direction is.