Steem4nigeria Accelerator Contest Week 51: I Learnt to Say NO.
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Sometimes I wonder why the word "NO" is so expensive. I wonder why it's the hardest word to use even when being at a tight end. I think the word is just too powerful.
Do you always find it hard to say NO to people's request? |
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I am a very gentle and loving person, compassionate and accommodating. I put people first before myself. I love seeing people's needs met first; I love seeing others happy. I could give my last just to make someone happy, and that is why saying no for me is very difficult.
I can't say no to anyone, especially things that are so compassionate. I feel hurt when I get a no for an answer, and so I know how others would feel when I tell them no.
I get affected knowing I am not able to help someone, or maybe I said no because of my previous experiences. Saying no for me is wrong.
However, after my experience, I decided to use the word no and see how harmful it is. Well, from all indications, it's not so bad; it can only make one look like a terrible person in the eyes of others, but saying no makes me who I am today. Of course I must not concur with everything.
Mention reasons why people find it difficult to say NO? |
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There are a lot of reasons why people find it difficult to say no.
To please others
Just like me, I love to please others even if I get displeased,I wouldn't mind. I love putting others first,to make them happy and to share in their joy, so if my no would hurt them, I would rather say yes and make them happy.
Fear
This is the greatest of it all, fear. Maybe because you don't want to loose your friends, or your loved one, and then you try to give in to everything they say. Even when it is out of your will,you concur because you are afraid of loosing them.
Guilt
Just because you don't want to live in guilt, you gladly say yes and let peace reign meanwhile you are not satisfied with it. It takes a lot of courage to say no and living in guilt because you denied someone an opportunity can kill.
What was that experience that taught you to say NO? |
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Hmm, this question reminds me so much of a very terrible event in my life. Sometimes I wonder if it is bad to help others.
I am this free giver who loves to share whatever she has with people around her, and there are some set of people that feel it's their right whenever you keep doing it.
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So I have been doing my thing until one day I didn't have to give that day, and it looked as if it was my duty to keep giving to them. This young lady fought me even when I explained to her that I don't have the money to pay for my light bills.
She owns the house I lived in school, and I almost fed her and her son. I cooked and shared with her, gave her clothes and other stuff, but this lady was an ungrateful woman. She saw it as her right.
After the day she showed who she really is, I made a decision to say no to people because I knew I wouldn't die; instead, they would hate me for my actions.
What is your advice for those who still struggles to give NO as an answer |
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I will advise you to say no. No feel heavy to say, but if you must say it to save yourself, say it. Nothing is worth dying for in this life, and if you are hated or abused because you said no, then you should count yourself lucky because for once you decided to speak out.
Saying no gives you confidence. You don't feel less of yourself when you say no. Even to your children, there are some certain things that you should say no to. Everything must not be no.
Thank you so much friends!
I would invite @mariami @pandora2010 @aviral123
Lovely write up
It's understood that fear of passing judgement, the feeling of guilt and the need to make others happy push people into saying yes, instead of a "No." The same way it makes others feel good can make you feel bad even to the point of regret, we need to say "Yes or No" wisely no matter who is involved.
Best wishes to you.
Thank you so much my friend
You're welcome