When friends betray me!

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In your understanding tell us what you understand by the word betrayal?

Betrayal is one of the most painful things we can face in life’s it’s usually very hurting and painful especially when it come a from someone we love or trusted.

Betrayal is the act of breaking the trust, confidence or loyalty that someone placed in us. It’s also involves, harming( with actions or words), cheating or deceiving someone who relies on us most times in ways that are hurtful or unexpected.

Have you ever been betrayed by anyone? Tell us what happened.

I have faced some betrayals in my life but let me share the second betrayal I had. The first was in my primary school when I was betrayed by my childhood bestie and the second too was by my supposed friend but in secondary school.

I was a shy girl that I had a boy friend as a teenager in a boarding house and we were in the same class. You know as secondary school school students with our youthful exuberance. I like my boy friend a lot and one of those holiday periods we travelled home and I came back to school with gift for him.

I bought him a singlet and I didn’t know how to give it to him. I actually brought it to class and I told my girlfriend about it. It was supposed to be a secret between me and her because I knew it was going to cause some ripples if other classmates got to find out.

She encouraged me to give him the gift in class, which I wrapped in a paper and gave him but he rejected the gift and I don’t even know why till date. I felt very bad and down and I told my girlfriend that he rejected my gift and I begged her not to tell anyone about the whole experience.

My brothers and sister, you would have seen the surprise on my face when few hours later we got back to the hostel only for me to be accosted by the class bully. There’s this particular girl in school that didn’t just like me for no reason and she would attack me and call me names at very slightest opportunity. She was way bigger than me and I was of a very small frame.

She started abusing me and calling me all sorts of names and how I shamelessly bought a singlet for a boy when I can’t even buy one for myself. I was so embarrassed. I felt like the ground should open for me to fall inside. She told the story to everyone and my name was just flying everywhere around the hostel.

I felt so bad and disappointed in the so called girlfriend of mine. Even if she wanted to tell someone, why the class bully. It was a terrible experience for me and the pain stuck with me for long and the whole class got to know what happened.

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We know that betrayal may lead to heartbreak, tell us ways to heal from such betrayal?

Betrayals leads to heart break actually, The healing would always take time, so ways to heal includes:

• Forgive the betrayer; sometimes they don’t even get to apologize for what they did but learning to forgive them even when they didn’t ask for it is like letting a prisoner go only to realize the prisoner is you. If you don’t forgive those who hurt you, you will be in bondage of bitterness.

Let them go and sometimes it’s not easy and thats where you can pray for your heart and ask God to heal you and take away the pain and bitterness they caused you.

• You should give it time too. Time heals, as time passes the pain and experiences wanes.

• Save your energy, don’t give it to people negatively. No one is worth occupying your heart in bitterness, the earlier you let them go the better. There are still some good people out there.

• Be open to other positive relationships, there are still good and trust worthy people out there. Do not block the road to friendship because of your experience.

How do you deal with people who have broken your heart several times?

They say once beaten, twice shy and I say thrice stupid. When someone breaks you heart over and over, it’s time to let hem go. If they make the mistake once, there’s place for a second chance but when they are insistent on hurting you and not changing, it’s time to let go.

No one’s heart should be used as a breaking test tool. We should be with people who value our emotions and relationships and are willing to protect it at all cost.

Betrayal is not a good experience. Am not perfect. I’ve betrayed the trust of some people in the past but am keen to learn and improve and not repeat the process again and again because it hurts, we should look out for our friends and protect them at all cost.

I ask @ugoesther, @beewrites and @ziha-hafiz to join the contest.