Steem engagement challenge-s7/w5|My way to stay balanced during the time of stress

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“I’m stressed” or “Leave me alone, I am stressed out”.

I am sure these are words that our children have heard us say many times.

One day they will learn in times of stress you don’t have the time to play or give attention to silly things. They will also feel those butterflies in their stomachs, hands shaking, or faces turning red.

Stressing is not only natural but it is normal and it happens to all of us no matter our ages, our gender, or our race.

We stress when our children draw with a pen on their hands just after we’ve bathed them.

We stress when your partner is ten minutes late coming from work.

We stress when we don’t know how.

I have a surprise for you if you think your stress is going to go away as you grow older. It is not. Your body and brain are controlling it.
Our brain and our body are connected and they are the best team, working together on this planet.

When we are stressed our brain sends a signal to our bodies, a “stress response”.
This response helps us to be ready for what comes next mentally and physically, our response to the situation.

S- Situations
T- That
R –Release
E- Emergency
S- Situation
S- Signals

There are three different stages to our stress response.

• the alarm stage
• the resistance stage
• exhaustion stage

Exhaustion is the stage where a parent feels like packing their kids into the car and going to drop them off at their grandparents. Umh… Can you relate to this?

Often these stress responses are not bad but good for us as it helps us to prepare or to go into action.

What is the difference between good stress and bad stress?

Bad stress can have a huge impact on people’s lives. It can lead to taking the wrong steps.

I am one of the lucky ones. I stress “at the moment”. What this means is that I will never stress for long periods. It won’t help anyway, will it?

The 3 main reasons behind my stress

There are so many reasons why we get all stressed out;

• Relationships
• Conflicts
• Heath and wealth
• Family responsibilities
• Loss of a life
• Taking on too many responsibilities
• Work performance

We will all have different reasons at different times for stressing. Often it is the smallest of things that will make us stress. Looking back later at the situation we can often shake our heads in disbelief for stressing out.

For me, the biggest culprits of stress are pressure, the unknown, and not saying no.

Stress under pressure is when we are experiencing emotional and even mental pressure. “I cannot cope anymore”.

Most of the time we are not willing to give up as we might be seen as losers. This results in us putting more pressure and more stress on ourselves. “I just have to finish it in time”.

Pressure can cause us to feel worthless, let us abandon what is important in our lives, and make us experience anxiety.

Often we can overcome pressure by prioritizing and setting boundaries.

It is normal to feel worried and stressed out about the unknown.

We all get into a routine. This is the time we must get up in the morning and that is the time we must go to bed in the evening. We get used to what we are doing and how we do it.

The unknown brings fear, the uncertainty, and this is common in most people. Of importance is how we handle the uncertainty. Do we take it as it happens, each day at a time? Or do we stress about it for days to come?

The unknown and fear of change is like brother and sister and we can conquer them by staying in the present and trusting in our beliefs

“Sorry, I cannot help” are three little words that I especially find hard to say just to discover later that they came at a high price.

If you cannot say no to people and even to yourself you are opening yourself up to stress which can impact your mental health.

If you cannot fulfill your responsibilities to your best it makes you feel guilty and guilty is something that will eat you up.

You cannot be held accountable for the action and reaction of others. In the end, you matter, you count.

What do I do to stay balanced in times of stress?

When stress takes over my life it is time to get worried. It is time to take “T” -Time out!

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1: The first thing I do is to decide if the stress is good or bad for me.

If the stress is good there is not much I can do about it whereas if it is bad I know I have to give my full attention to it.

I will put in every effort I can to release the bad stress knowing that if I don’t it can easily become a big problem.

2: The second thing I look at is time management.

Deadlines make people nervous and it makes people stress.

I am just as much human as others. I often get stressed when I have to complete a task by a certain time and I just don’t get to it.

There are five questions I ask myself when it comes to time management.

»Did I give myself enough time to complete a task or am I putting pressure on myself?
»Did I have the time to add a new task to my schedule?
»Is this my goal in life?
»Is this the road I want to take for my life?
»What are my limits?

Answering these questions helped me on numerous occasions to get out of a stressful situation.

3: The third thing I look at is the end result.

I do believe that the way we think about stress makes a big difference in our lives.

The story goes around that should you feel nervous about addressing an audience all that you must do is to “undress” them and it will put a smile on your face. This might be a drastic way but it works. It will indeed make you smile that will calm your nerves.

The same with stress. When I “undress” stress and tell myself that I will be okay and I don’t need to be nervous is when I turn the bad stress into good stress and I can be certain of a good ending.

4: The fourth thing I do is breathe.

Breathing in and out slowly is called calm breathing and when we practice it oxygen goes to our brain which “turns down the volume” of our stress sensor. By doing this we will feel so much more relaxed and in control of the situation.

When we are calm we can make the right decisions and face our worries.

When my children started writing exams in later school years stress kicked in for them. I taught them that before each test or exam paper, they must practice “starfish breathing".


Let’s follow the steps;

• Open your one hand like a starfish
• Now take the pointer finger from your other hand and place it at the bottom of your starfish hand
• Now slowly start tracing your starfish with your pointer finger on the outside of your fingers starting at the bottom of your thumb
• You will trace from left to right if you are tracing your left hand and pointing with a finger on your right hand
• Breathe in when your pointer finger goes up and breathe out when your finger goes down
• Work your way up and down all the fingers until you are back where you have started

You can do this until it makes you feel calmer.

You will be amazed at how calm and stress-free this exercise will make you feel.

Should we take stress seriously? Why?

For sure!

Stress can release stress hormones that can change our thinking, our reaction, and the way we behave going forward. Stress is often the cause of physiological changes in a person.

When we feel that stress is a threat to us and we don’t know how to deal with it we have to take it seriously. If we don’t it can cause problems like anxiety, depression, clogged arteries, high blood pressure, muscle tension, and believe it or not, obesity.

Remember those stress responses I told you about at the begging of the post? Well although they are self-limiting we still need to take action and if we cannot take the right action it is okay to get help from someone else. We all need help sometimes.

The important thing is to reach out when you cannot cope anymore, making stress your friend.

I invite:
@nayqii
@vishwara
@okere-blessing

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