Incredible India monthly contest November #2| What is the definition of a happy family according to you?

Hello everyone! I'm delighted to participate in this contest you've organized because I feel very strongly about the theme of family.

1. What is the definition of a happy family?
2. What things should we follow to keep our family happy? Justify.
3. Can professional relationships become a portion of our family? Describe.

Unfortunately, I know many families that aren't happy, and perhaps sharing our experiences can be helpful in assisting someone in overcoming their difficulties and making their family happier. I was a fortunate child, as I grew up in a united and happy family.
Now, in 2023, I'm also a fortunate wife: I married my husband out of love, and I am loved every single day. I speak of fortune because I could have been born in any other family context, and among billions of people, I perhaps encountered the only man who loves me simply for who I am.

But it's not just a matter of luck; a happy family is built every day. Now I'll tell you how it's possible, based on my personal experience, by adopting certain attitudes towards oneself and others and implementing daily actions to pursue happiness in the family. The suggestions I propose apply to all families, with or without children.

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Family is not a business to be managed; it's a small community based on love and mutual affection. Happiness is the most important goal in our lives and should be pursued every day through many small choices.
Happiness has nothing to do with material wealth and economic well-being. It depends on our ability to connect with our inner selves and relate to the people living in our home with empathy, care, understanding, and kindness.

A happy family isn't one that owns a beautiful house and has plenty of money to spend; it's one where people care for each other and demonstrate it every day with many small acts of mutual care and emotional closeness. A family isn't happy only by chance or thanks to fortunate circumstances; a family is happy when each day everyone strives to maintain their psycho-physical well-being and that of other family members.

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Many women and men spend many hours away from home working to earn money, which may be wasted on buying totally useless items or industrially processed foods harmful to health. The fundamental thing to build a happy family is presence.

If possible, choose to work fewer hours per day, even if it means earning less, or work from home so you can be with your family and be available in case of need. It's not necessary to earn a lot of money and buy many objects; the important thing is to have what is necessary to live: good food, hot water, electricity, clean clothes, a tidy and healthy home, an internet connection. Everything else is superfluous and does not contribute to deep and lasting happiness.

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Spend as much time as you can with your family and talk about everything as much as possible. Share experiences and moments of tranquility: do some chores together (like cooking, fixing or building things, cleaning and organizing, gardening), or go out for a walk, visit a place, or meet friends.

Being there is crucial because if you come home in the evening with lots of gifts for your wife and children, they will only seem happy superficially or maybe they will be truly happy to receive a surprise, but soon the euphoria will pass, the object will be added to the many others they already have, and boredom will return. Also, you will not have built any exciting moments to remember.

The love and emotions that remain in the heart for many years do not pass through objects; they pass through smiles, hugs, laughter, tears, cuddles, words of affection, attentive glances. These are the things that make us happy, and the beauty is that they are all free. To be happy, it is not necessary to be rich and powerful. Everyone can be happy if they want to, and if you look back at your past and think about your grandparents and parents, you will realize that what you remember and what makes you happy is not the objects they gave you but the kisses and hugs you received or simply the good things they cooked with so much effort and ate with you while chatting, of which, I'm sure, you still remember the taste and smell.

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If you have these kinds of memories, you grew up in a happy family. A dad or husband who comes home after many hours of work, tired but behaves aggressively and pays no attention to his family, who are practically strangers to him, is not building a happy family, even if he earned a lot of money that day.

So, in my family, we try to be present, and even if there are periods when we work a lot and have to stay out of the house many hours, during the few hours we spend with the family, we try, at least, not to be aggressive and to dedicate all our attention and affection to those who love us and have been waiting for us at home. Yes, because it happens that some family members are very busy with work or want to travel or spend time away from home with friends, but then when they return home, we all try to take care of our family members with love and not treat them badly just because we are frustrated. If something makes us suffer, we talk about it and ask for help immediately, without fear of showing ourselves weak or too dependent on others. Knowing that there is someone in the family ready to listen to us and help us makes us happier.

In my family, everyone collaborates, adults and children, each according to their abilities, to take care of others and the house with the goal of everyone being well and living in a healthy environment. It is not necessary to rigidly assign tasks and schedules; everyone can do everything, depending on their age and abilities, based on what needs to be done at that moment. If there is a problem, everyone sits down and discusses it: each person proposes solutions, and then we decide what is best to do. Everyone is involved, including children, who are encouraged to reflect and contribute, and are not excluded by adults just because they are small. This is very educational for them because they learn from adults to democratically dialogue and seek a solution to problems without despairing.

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Everyone is encouraged to express their emotions and thoughts, even the most negative ones; other family members listen and try to understand each other's mood. If a family member is suffering, we try to console them and help them overcome this difficult time. In my family, there are some very clear rules of various kinds that everyone respects: for example, being kind and polite to others, waiting for one's turn to speak, saying when leaving home and for what reason, being transparent and sharing money management, respecting each other's space and freedom, collaborating in household chores, treating all objects well, trying not to be too aggressive, never using physical violence, apologizing if you make a mistake.

Rules are very useful for acquiring good habits and provide security because everyone is well aware of the limits that no one should exceed. This contributes to feeling serene and safe. Living in a safe and peaceful place makes us happier because we know that in the family, no one can or wants to harm us physically and psychologically. No one commands others: the rules are decided together, and everyone respects them. Sometimes it is necessary to change them: in that case, we gather to discuss them all together and decide based on different motivations and proposals.
If we realize that someone is doing wrong or not behaving correctly, instead of punishments, which only feed resentment and set a bad example, we resort to dialogue to try to understand how it could have happened and how it is possible to improve and correct one's actions. In this way, mistakes become opportunities for growth, and the bond of affection and trust is strengthened.

All this may seem difficult, but it is not actually if we believe in these values and if every day, gradually, we try to put them into practice. Some days are not easy: sometimes we are stressed, angry, sad, frustrated, disappointed, we feel desperate and powerless. But it is precisely at that moment that we must remember all the things I have told you, the good principles, and everything that could help us feel better and make our family members feel better and, therefore, try to start again to rebuild a happy family.

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Professional relationships, as long as they are such, generally cannot and should not turn into family relationships. I believe that the best thing is to keep the work sphere distinct from that of the family and not confuse roles. Each person, after work, should be able to have the opportunity to retreat into the realm of their family, where they can freely cultivate their affective relationships and find a safe refuge to detach the body and mind from professional matters. Employers, colleagues, subordinates can become our friends, but they cannot and should not be considered as family members, because this would complicate other relationships that are established in the workplace: someone could feel discriminated against and excluded or harbor resentment due to the difference in treatment.

In many cases, parents and children, or two siblings, two cousins, work together. In this case, the family relationship has been established prior to the work relationship, and therefore the family relationship is not distinguishable from the professional one, and in any case, the affective relationship should take precedence over the work one. Even if it is difficult, even in this case, we should try to keep family matters separate from work matters, and professional problems should not affect family relationships.

Thank you for the time you have dedicated to reading my post. See you soon!

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