In love, those who do not know how to receive it lose

"Love has no cure, but it is the cure for all ills" -Leonard Cohen-

I share with you this beautiful article on the art of love written by the psychologist Valeria Sabater, especially in times as difficult as the one we are experiencing.

Image by Zorro4 Pixabay

Give love or avoid loving again
All of us are a delicate and chaotic compendium of past stories, of lived emotions, of hidden bitterness and camouflaged fears. When a new relationship starts, nobody does it by previously sending all their past experiences to the recycle bin. Nobody starts from "0". Everything is there, and the way in which we have managed our past will make us live an affective and emotional present with greater maturity, with greater fullness.

"It is better to have loved and lost
then never having loved at all "
-Alfred Lord Tennyson-

We are genetically programmed to connect with each other and to build emotional ties with which to feel safe, with which to build a project. This is how we have survived as a species, “connecting”, hence a loss, a separation, and even a simple misunderstanding instantly triggers the alarm signal in our brain.

Now, another complex aspect on the subject of effective relationships is the way in which we face this separation, this rupture. From a neurological point of view, it can be said that stress hormones begin to be released instantly, forming in many cases what is known as "the broken heart". However, from an emotional and psychological point of view, what many people feel is another type of reality.

They do not only experience the pain for the lack of a loved one. They feel a loss of energy, of vital breath. It is as if all the love is given, all the hopes and affections dedicated to that person have gone as well, leaving them empty, barren, withered ...

Heal lost love
According to a study carried out at the University College London, there are certain differences between men and women when it comes to coping with an emotional breakdown. The emotional response seems to be very different. Women feel the impact of separation much more, however it is common for them to recover earlier than men.

They, for their part, tend to appear well, they dress in the mask of strength, taking refuge in their occupations and responsibilities. However, they do not always manage to overcome that break or take years to do so. The reason? The female sex usually has better skills to manage their emotional world. Facilitating relief, seeking support and facing what happened from a perspective where forgiveness is found and the attitude of turning the page often makes things easier.

Be that as it may, and regardless of the genders or the reason that caused this rupture, some things that need to be inoculated into our heart as a vaccine are clear. No emotional failure should veto us from our chance to be happy again. Let's say "no" to being slaves of the past and eternal captives of suffering.

Source
https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/nadie-pierde-dar-amor/