There’s definitely a cultural difference between Pakistan and somewhere like here. Although some similarities too.
Often, the wife places more importance and puts more effort into relationships - that’s certainly true in my household. Although, I’m currently sat with my father-in-law watching boring programmes.
There isn’t an expectation for that to be the case though. 100 years ago it would’ve been, but not now.
I had to chuckle at the image of you sitting with your father-in-law watching boring program. At least you get to experience it occasionally ;)) (that's my understanding btw)
You know, the situation is almost the same here with my spouse and my father. They seldom visit us—you could say once every three years. While my husband respects them, the last time they visited for just one and a half days, I could sense that he wasn’t very comfortable. I don’t know how to put it exactly, but there was definitely some boredom, some awkwardness...
Meanwhile, we daughters-in-law live in a completely different reality. There’s no occasional visit or formal distance for us, it’s a full-time commitment. We’re constantly around their parents, navigating expectations, maintaining relationships, and trying to keep everyone happy. It’s ironic, isn’t it? Husbands get the occasional “guest” version of in-law dynamics, while we’re living the extended edition every day!!!
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Oh... we watched University Challenge. It's where a bunch of smart arses are asked ridiculous questions that no normal human being would be able to answer. What's the point in watching a quiz that you'll never be able to answer. Maybe one question per episode but I can't think of anything more boring.
It was followed by a documentary filmed in Gaza over the past year. Again, something I wouldn't choose to watch. To say it was disturbing is an understatement. Of course, it was a very biased account but even taking that into account, I don't think anything that I saw could be justified in the slightest.
Funnily enough, when my mother-in-law got home, she was amazed that we watched the 2nd programme as it's not something he'd choose to watch either. So who knows? He had the TV remote so why didn't he change the channel??
Definitely invite you family over more often. If he doesn't like it, he can go to the pub 😆
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Haha. My parents never visit frequently. You know, it’s also one of the norms here — they don’t usually stay as guests in their daughter’s home.
I think I might have given the wrong impression when I mentioned that there was some awkwardness or whatever I felt. He’s not disrespectful; he tries to be a good host and all. But, of course, living with another person for even a day can be challenging. Playing the role of a guest for that long, as you mentioned with your father-in-law, is something that people—especially men—don’t find very easy.
So yeah, we women are expected to get along with their in-laws in ways that men would never be expected to.
See, the awkwardness...
Well, if I were you and my mother-in-law was watching something that didn’t interest me, I’d do the same. But if it were my mom, I’d just say, “Ami, we’re not watching this anymore.” So yeah, that’s how it is. But I’m not living with my mom, am I?
P.s: thanks for making it a fun banter ;)
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Oh, I completely understand what you meant. I feel the same when my in-laws visit. I like them and am obviously kind to them but sometimes I've got to grit my teeth. Like when you spend thousands of pounds creating a new entrance hall for people to take their shoes and coats off... only for one of them to walk straight through the entrance hall and leaving his shoes and coat in a completely different room. Or when you can only cook boring / simple meals because the idea of adding a spice or "non-English" ingredient will be a problem. More so for everybody else who has pandered to his childish attitude to food.
Ah, I'm sure that you know my pain and I certainly understand where you're coming from.
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