Why I Don't (Want to) Want to Write This Piece...
When I first sat down to write this piece, I honestly thought that I loved being a writer...
But five days, a few hours, and multiple battles with Writer's Block later.. After debating with myself countless times, and considering whether there were other hidden passions that I had, I finally have come to this conclusion... that I totally hate how much I love writing.
Don’t be confused yet, when you're done reading this piece you’ll get to understand my agony, or not. I will try to explain it to you anyway...
You see, long before I got to know that writing could be worth something financially, I wrote a lot. I wrote any and every time my muse was stirred, and my muse was stirred a lot!
I could be in a bus, in the middle of a serious conversation, I could be writing an exam, sometimes even when I am answering the more serious of nature’s calls. As long as something or someone gave me inspiration, you better believe that I will find somewhere to write it down.
But how is this a cause of agony to me you may ask? Well, exercise a little patience now, would you?
Now being inspired is one thing, writing your inspiration down is another, but transforming that inspiration into something worthy of being called a masterpiece (or something even worth a second look) is an entirely different ball game altogether. Most writers would at least be able to relate with me on this point, unless of course, you're some modern Shakespeare or George Orwell. I am even willing to bet that even those awesome two would have struggled with getting on the trending page here on Steemit with the way most people write now.
I guess you are beginning to see my agony as it takes shape. Let’s go on…
Now after struggling with that idea, after hours of contemplation, thinking of the general shape which that prose or poetry would take, and after seeing the beginning and the end of the article in your head, you're now faced with writing it down. Then you begin...
Quote from The Great Dragon (John Hurt) [Opening Line of Merlin, The Series]
Awesome! Right? So you will tell yourself, until you're visited by that ugly-hard-headed-terrible monster mentioned earlier - Writer’s block.
Ugh! I can’t even afford to think too much about him lest I risk calling his attention to me. He makes awesome ideas crumble as soon as they begin, he takes the hard earned idea carefully brewed by the special people that authors are (or are supposed to be), and he throws them down a bottomless void to be found no more.
And when for his sake a superb piece of inspiration turns into an average article, the readers won’t think much about him before they crucify the author with vile comments that would make him/her begin to reconsider his/her calling.
Sometimes I wonder, why isn’t there a ‘reader’s block’ anyway? If for no other reason, just so that we authors could equally have something to throw at the faces of those that do not take their time to read and appreciate the result of hours of serious thought and… and… Oh well...
So you see why I hate the fact that I love writing? And that’s only just the beginning; don’t get me started on how loving writing and having unique personal traits can be frustrating when put together... Too late, I’ve already started anyway…
I’m much of a quiet thinker you see; now I don’t know how that sounds to you, so allow me explain. I say this to mean that I can only think creatively in quiet places. Wherever noise abounds, no matter how little, I find it very difficult to put thoughts together, let alone write them down. If a conversation starts between two people while I’m in the middle of writing a piece, I can read one sentence a hundred times without figuring out a suitable next sentence to follow it. So this means that many a time when I have to write, I have to wait until the middle of the night when everyone is asleep, which is quite difficult giving that sometimes I just want to put that idea burning inside me on a piece of paper and convert it as quickly as possible into something at least worth looking at twice.
The alternative to waiting until midnight is not totally appealing as well, it means telling everyone around me to ‘shut the f** up’* or ‘turn down the effing volumes’ until my thought processes are complete. Well, maybe I would try that someday. Who knows... might be fun yeah?
Anyways, all I am trying to say is, I do not like how much I love writing. After thinking long and hard about it a few days ago, I had to ask myself, why is it that I didn’t grow into having a passion for something like eating, or sleeping. I hear stories (not verified) of companies that pay people to go into some sort of cryo-sleep (hibernation) as part of an experiment. Oh, how I would have loved that job.
But then who knows, perhaps insomnia is as much of a monster as the famed ‘writer’s block’. Reminds me of the saying ‘careful what you wish for’.
One final word before I leave you dear friend...
You know, I actually do love writing, even though I hate how much I love it...
I mean, why else do you think I'll sit down and go through the hard work of surmounting all the above mentioned obstacles just to put up this almost 1000 word piece...
A share of some Steem votes? Who do you think I am, a writer or something?
Lol... Gotcha!
Thanks for stopping by!
Cheers!
Cc: @writingnreviews
Lol, this was fun!
Sometimes it's so scary to even sit in from of a blank piece of paper... And time goes by, but not a single word shows up. And if any does, it's just horrible and everything seems to be too structured and it's just not flowing... damn you, writer's block.
You get it dear Fendit... you do get it!
It can be annoying and emotionally draining... The writer's block.
And when you tell non-writers how difficult it is to write, they look at you like you must be crazy or something, lol...
Thank you for reading dear friend. Hope you have an amazing day out there!
Cheers!