"Steemit Engagement Challenge | S14W3 | Parent's Strict Behavior and Children's Mental Health".

Hello friends welcome to my blog and presentation on parents strict behaviour on children. I wish to thank the community for this topic idea and here is my take on it.

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Strict parenting is a parenting is the over or total or exaggerated control and discipline on children by parent. Most parents especially in our African context Parents who adopt this approach set strict rules and guidelines for their children and expect them to follow them without question. Parents become strict on children because they want their children to be obedient and respectful in every way.

🙍 What are the advantages and disadvantages of parents strict behaviour?

ADVANTAGES

Strictness is actually something that has a two side coins with respect to children. In terms of advantages it does the following.

• Train children to be responsible persons in the society

• Acts like a fence of protection for children

• children tend to be obedient and respectful to parents and elders.

• Instilling discipline in children

• Builds and ensures the morality of the future society

• Teaches children on the consequences of every action they take in life

DISADVANTAGES

Negatively strict parenting affects children in the following ways.

• Anxiety and depression

Children growing with strict parents may experience anxiety and depression due to the over bearing control and pressure accompanied with stress from their parents. Most if not all of these children feel that they have no control over their own lives hence leading to situations of feeling helpless and hopeless.

• Low self-esteem

Children tend to experience low self-esteem as they always feel they can't satisfy their parents or live up to their expectations. This doesn't only affect the children at home but also in school and with friends. Many of these children tend to be very timid and not sure of themselves.

•Poor social life

Children tend to be social misfits when experiencing a strict parenting lifestyle as they can't mingle with their peers, development themselves and do many other social activities with friends. They mostly life a life of isolation and feel they don't fit in the midst of others hence limiting their social life.

• Isolation

Children who grow up with strict parents tend to live in isolation. Many can't withstand the presence of their parents and so will always stay away from them. This typical of my foster father and children from his first wife. I noticed they always ran into the room when their father's car enters the compound. When I asked they told me he always shouts over nothing so they didn't want it and he knew about their actions but didn't care.

• Rebellion behaviour

Children who grow up with strict parents might be rebellious and sometimes engage in dangerous activities which can take their lives. Many children do this because they want to be free from their parents control which they can't bear. Such children in this process engage in drug activities and other crime waves.

🙍 What do you feel if you were at the place of such childrens who have to face strictness?

Actually I grew up in a strict home where you could do no nonsense so I am acquainted with strictness. Although my parents were strict I realize they were protecting me from the bad things happening around and moulding me to be a good person in a society. Yes they were strict but not the type that you didn't have the space to breath or was always tensed. The strictness was in a peaceful way but other harsh measures came when I didn't want to do the right things.

When I look at strictness of some parents I feel bad because it pushes the children away and makes them feel isolated which is not good. If I were to be in such position I too won't be comfortable as I will be filled with resentment towards my parents always.

🙍 As a child, what do you expect from your parents regarding their behavior?

Actually with respect to parenting I expect total love, support and guidance from them. Children look up to their parents and take them as role models so it is important to treat children in a way that will build the child positively and become responsible persons in the society. Not that parents shouldn't be strict or correct wrongs but do it in a way that doesn't send the child away from you rather is should make the child feel comfortable and be able to confide in you.

Many children have become eye servants nowadays because they feel they can't do anything to please their parents. Most children tend to do things just to please their parents and mostly when their parents are around. When not there they do the contrary. This is something we need to totally remove from our children by showing them the right path without over bearing strictness. We need love from our parents

🙍 What are the negative effects of emotional blackmailing?

Emotional blackmail is actually a very bad practice which causes a lot of damage to the individual involved. It tends to cause issues like

• Increase tension
• Create fear and anxiety
• Depression
• Mental instability
• Low self-esteem
• Isolation
• low integrity

On children it causes serious problems with the growth and development of the child. It makes the child not feel wanted in a society and inefficient at tasks. Many adults facing emotional blackmails also become inefficient with their jobs and sometimes engage in things out of the working rules and regulations.

CONCLUSION

Strict parenting have both positive and negative effects on a children's development and growth as on one side it builds the children to be responsible future citizens and obedient to their parents. On the other, hand it is harmful by making children feel depressed, isolated and low self-esteem. As parents we need to understand our children, their needs and personality in order to find the right approach in correcting them and building them. With this approach children won't feel the control of their parents.

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