This is what happens when you leave your phone to children.

Stop Leaving Your Child With Phone, You're Throwing Them to the Dogs

The only safe time to let your child have a phone freely without it having a detrimental effect on their development is 19 and beyond.

The psychological purpose of age 12 and below is to develop free range thinking.

The psychological purpose of 13 to 19 is to develop secure identity and a sense of security in oneself.

How do children develop free range thinking? Through spontaneous play, through engaging the world around them, through wondering, dreaming, experimenting, asking questions. A phone, however, takes away all this. It becomes their escape from boredom instead of them learning to sit with their feelings and redirect attention to productive things; the phone becomes a one-stop point for experiencing the world. They quickly get addicted to it because it's easy and intriguing. Where they could have flown kites and kicked ball and hunted insects in the grass, now they press buttons and take in produced content.

Childhood should not be produced. It should bubble naturally from within the child.

For a teenager, they become self conscious and image sensitive at this age. They're supposed to grapple with their identity and belonging until they arrive at solid foundations. But if they're allowed to escape into the virtual world of digital content, a lot of gaps and misconceptions will concretise within them.

Solution? The smartphone has obviously become an integral part of our lives because of technological conveniences, and in their regular operations children will need to learn to use it. Also, there are functions of the smartphone that are not harmful if they're used within limits. Like games and computing applications. The key is to regulate access so that the child uses the phone for 2 hours or less per day depending on their age.

A phone must never be a reward for passing tests or other achievement, in a sense that gives them total control and ownership of it. This is because the phone itself becomes a world by itself for children. And if you as a grownup sometimes you get carried away and distracted until you're struggling to regain your footing, how much more will this affect your child who is yet to cover developmental milestones like you?

It can make them a total addict while they're under your roof and they change into a person you don't know. They can lose their individuality and spark for life.

Of course they'll be asking for the phone because their friends have them. But you must maintain control of the phone yourself and not hand it over to them. You can also regulate internet access and make sure everyone comes to the dinner table during meals so that you can read moods. The moment a child is locking themselves in their room and staying away from family, you're losing them as you watch. That's addictions taking root, that's avoidance and antisocial behaviour developing, that's defiance and rebellion cropping up.

They must learn to deal with their moods and to show up for life. If they're unwell they should communicate and let the rest of the family know how they can help.

Most importantly, you as a parent must demonstrate self control around phone. If you're always on your phone yourself, if you have no time for conversations and play, if you're always absent mentally because you're lost in your phone, then your children can't help but emulate.

For brothers, it helps to always be home by mealtimes. That's the best time to bond and tell stories with your kids. And then keep all phones away from dinner table so that people can bond. It's a struggle nowadays to create a free space where people can be natural and present with each other. You must be the leader and inculcate th