Signs of a Cryptoasshole

A crypto asshole is a special breed that can be identified after a couple of messages or posts in a chat. Here are their main characteristics:

Boasting without evidence
"I made 5000% on the last pump!" But as soon as you ask to show the trades or the total PnL, suddenly it starts: "Why do you need this? The main thing is to believe!"

Belief in “brilliant” projects
The crypto asshole always knows about some "secret" coin that's about to do x10. Usually, it's something like "ShitCoin2025" or "MoonToken69". If you ask about the technology or the real benefit of the project, the answer is: "You just don't understand the potential!"

Network marketing with a crypto twist
"Want to be successful like me? Buy my course for 999 USDT, and I'll teach you how not to be a sucker!" says the guy with the latest Binance screenshots from 2021.

Constant mood swings
When the market is rising: "Crypto is the future, fiat is death!" When it is falling: "It's a conspiracy! The whales are dumping again!"

Love of terms
"Hold, short, pump, dump!" The crypto asshole loves to throw around words he doesn’t really understand, especially if they sound smart.

Aggression towards criticism
Say a word against his favorite coin, and you automatically become a "beggar," a "loser," a "hater." Any criticism is a personal insult.

Promises of paradise around the corner
"Guys, this token has already dropped by 99%, which means it will soon be 100x!" Of course, because the market is just waiting for it.

Secret inside information
"I have info from the top developers of the project. They’re already negotiating with Apple!" As if someone leaked him the data for a glass of beer, like a friend.

Endless whining
"Why isn't Bitcoin rising?"
"The regulators have cut everything off again!"
"Whales (do something insidious)"
"Bro, lend me some ether, I'll pay you back soon!"

Zero understanding of risks
A crypto asshole goes all-in on memecoins, forgetting there's such a thing as a "stop." Then he complains to everyone that he was scammed.

The thirst for freebies
He participates in airdrops everywhere, plays in dubious ICOs, and greedily searches for "free tokens." Then he loses his wallet along with the money.

No gratitude and no responsibility
Others are to blame for his mistakes, and all his victories are his merit alone. Remember, if you were deceived, you share the responsibility.

If someone in the chat starts actively advising, teaching about life, and waving graphs with colored arrows, you can be sure: he is a crypto asshole, always unprofitable but incredibly self-confident.

Obsession with the Moon and Mars
For a crypto asshole, there are no other goals in life except "to the Moon" and "to Mars." If a coin has grown by only 10%, it’s a failure for him. He only expects the "pump of the century," preferably overnight. Trust every tweet.

Undying faith in graphs
The crypto asshole draws lines, triangles, and mysterious figures on the chart, claiming they predict the future. "Look, there's a cup with a handle, and there's a dumpling. That's it, the pump is inevitable!"

Panic is at a minimum, euphoria is at a peak
When the market is falling, the crypto asshole screams: "That's it, crypto is finished!" As soon as the market is growing: "This is just the beginning, it will go even higher!" His strategy is to sell at the bottom and buy at the highs.

Adoration of "revolutionary" technologies
"This blockchain project will solve all the world's problems!" Usually, this refers to some meaningless thing like "a decentralized platform for renting dogs."

Wallet like trash
His wallet is a graveyard of dead tokens. He bought everything that was offered, from DogeShit to CryptoBroCoin, hoping that at least one would take off.

Chaotic participation in the community
The crypto asshole is active everywhere: in chats, forums, Discord. There, he simultaneously begs for advice, sells his failed coins, and argues with strangers. He spends more time arguing than on his own problems.

Ignoring taxes
"Why pay taxes? It's crypto, everything is anonymous here!" Then he is surprised when he gets it from the tax office.

Readiness for a sect
He willingly joins any crypto sects that promise "guaranteed passive income." It doesn't matter that it looks like a pyramid—the main thing is to believe in a miracle.

And the main bonus feature: a crypto asshole is always sure that you don’t understand anything. After all, he is a master of the crypto game who simply "had bad luck with the market."