I want books from the library and nothing else

Both of us looked at each other and then looked down at the ground. There was nothing below, but we both knew that there was a wall between both of us.

"Did she leave in peace?" I asked.

"Yes," he answered, "Where are your wife and children?"

"My wife is at her mother's house, and both my children are at work. Now it is only me, alone.''

''The children will come during the holidays, and your wife will also come.''

''Yes, she will.''

''But no one will ever come to me.''

'I remained silent for a while.

He said, "Today, for the first time in life, you have come from the front door of the house.''

''This door was yours, it was never mine, that's why.''

''But whenever you came from the back door, I always knew it. You were like a thief in your own house.''

''I never came in the house, only in the library in the garden... there I used to read my favorite books.''

''But mom didn't like you touching her books.''

''Yes, she didn't, the man who is not his mother's favorite is not supposed to touch her books, and she didn't want me to read her books. Those books were also for you, for you, you only like all other things in this house.''

''What do you mean?''

''That you were not married and our mother did not like my wife.''

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"I laughed loudly. Perhaps all my crying turned into laughter at that moment. I said slowly, "That is why even today I am alone, not you because you are happy with your wife and children."

"I had no rights before, nor do I have any now. You snatched everything from me."

"There is one more right which only you have, not me."

"Which one?"

"Your own happy life, which I don't have."

"That is why I am empty-handed, everything else is gone to you."

"But apart from this, she had all the words of love for you. "Yes, but she left nothing for me."

"You could have got all this too.''

''No, because I couldn't get it, mother didn't like her children with any other woman.''

''If you had married like me, you would have been like me today.''

''Maybe I still am.''

''But alone in everyone's eyes.''

''Mother didn't want to see a dead body lying in the house. She considered another woman in this house as a dead body''

''Yes, I understand.''

''I am silent grave.''

''Maybe all three of us were like graves. Me, you, and mother, graves sitting taking care of each other's dead bodies in our own house, but if your wife had not come into your life, you would still have been a corpse.''

''It doesn't matter.''

''How?''

''Then I would also have lived like an empty grave like you.''

'Maybe yes, maybe no.''

''Did mother say anything at the last moment?''

''Nothing, she only made this will.''

"She is gone now, so tell me what she said.''

'She did not say anything. Whenever someone came in the room, she would open her eyes and look at him and then quietly close her eyes.''

'Maybe she was waiting for me.''

'Maybe...''

'Why you didn't call me?''

'Mother didn't want you here, and I wanted to save you from her.'''Can you calculate what I lost and what I gained?''

'Whatever I had to lose, I have lost. I was not thinking about myself.''

'You are right, if she had not come into my life, I would also be alone like you at 73.''

'I would have been saved from the pain of hatred, and perhaps I could save other pain.''

'The other pain?''

'Of emptiness... I knew it from the beginning; I got nothing. Even in her last time, mother kept looking into nothing with empty eyes.''

''Then you would have felt relieved because there was no place for me in her life?''

"I stopped and then said, ''Maybe you felt relieved that only you had the right over her dead body and property, but now...''

''Now?''

''It seems you snatched her from me and also her dead body.''

''Only the dead body."
'
''No, you snatched her even when she was alive.''

''She was never alone. You were also included in everything."
'
''Some things don't have to be remembered, they just happen, even if they are beyond our reach, but it doesn't matter now.''

''Did anyone tell you this?''

''This was not something to be said or asked. ''

''But there in the library, she was always alone with you.''

''And you?''

''I was an empty book on which she wrote whatever she wanted to write...''

''The writing of the body too?''

''Yes, the writing of the body too... but that was much later.''

''After a long time?

''Was I in front of her like an open book even at that time?''

''Yes, I used to be... that's why I was always like a slave.''

Both of us got lost in a deep silence. The first one was like an open book, and the second one was like an empty book. Then I took a deep breath and said, ''But why have you come to me today?''

''Why? I don't know...''

''I was the wall in your way, but you can keep everything, but can you give me my favorite books?''

I put my head on his shoulder and started crying, ''Maybe because when someone is very lonely, he needs to cry by putting his head on a shoulder, and there is no better than you. After all, we are twins."