Microdosing - my experience thus far

I've been interested in shroom for years for their effects on anxiety and depression but I never got around to trying them for two reasons. One, the fear of having a bad trip. And two, not being able to locate any due to my friend group consisting of nerds and introverts.

Then I heard of microdosing which erased one of those reasons which was enough motivation to finally give shrooms a try. I should have waited until I was off SSRIs because from my understanding, the two react with the same part of the brain brain but in opposite ways, causing them to compete, and potentially rendering my antidepressants ineffective. I went forward with it because I'm bored and like to make bad decisions from time to time, like last week when I superglued my ears to look like an elf. I do not condone doing either of these things.

But here are the results I've had thus far.

Lots of crying. Crying at kittens, crying when people slightly raising their voices at me, crying when I feel overwhelmed, crying when I think about the past, and crying at sad anime endings. Actually that last one caused by far the most tears. I bawled for the entire double length finale, and by the end of it I was all red and snotty, leaving my boyfriend feeling a tad guilty for introducing me to the show. Oops.

It's also not just when I had the shrooms in my system either, it lasted the days and even weeks following a dose.

Apart from crying, I feel other emotions more intensely as well. This has been great when it comes to emotions like happiness and being in love, less so when it comes to sadness and anger. I've been numbed to some extent for a decade, so it's a big change for me, and I'm now relearning how to handle them, both the good and the bad.

I read this is common among other microdosers but only temporarily, it's an adjustment period of sorts, so I made sure I was prepared, did sufficient research, and waited until I was in a good place to begin my journey.

Another change I noticed was that I had noticeably better focus and motivation on the days I microdosed, but unlike the intensified emotions, I don't notice these effect lasting as long. The next day I go back to struggling to get through chores and I can't focus on reading or even a video longer than a minute. ADHD diagnosis pending.

Also, I noticed that I don't drink as much since starting to MD. Even when I have alcohol in front of me I'm less inclined to drink it quickly in hope of getting drunk . I wouldn't say I was near addicted, but since alcohol helped relieve my anxiety, I was stuck in a habit of drinking too much, leaving some people in my life (and my liver) concerned. Microdosing made it easier to cut back and I feel less reliant on drinking too, my anxiety being more tolerable now.

I'm going to keep microdosing, but until I get off my SSRIs I don't believe I will experience the effects in full.