"But, I'm a Pole Dancer"--How To Come Out of the Pole Closet

For the majority of us, pole dancing is more than just a hobby. It’s a lifestyle we choose to lead and, the best part is, it comes with an active global community through which we can share our passion. HOWEVER, outside of this fabulous subculture, the “muggle world” (as I loveably refer to it as), isn’t always welcoming of our art.

As I was just getting my feet wet in the pole world, I remember getting so worked up whenever people would ask me what I do for fun. Seems like such an easy question, right?! In reality, nothing gave me more social anxiety. My stomach would drop, my throat would swell up, and my mind would rush to find an answer that I thought was normal and acceptable. “I scrapbook; I read; I collect snow globes”, whatever the hell came to my mind first.

Photo from one of my very first competitions :)

Pretty soon, pole became a much bigger part of my life than I anticipated. I was now teaching classes, winning competitions, performing, and traveling the world to share my skills. I realized that I could no longer keep this part of my life in the dark. And why would I want to? Pole dancing is my greatest passion; my oxygen; my everything. It’s who I am. If someone I meet can’t or won’t accept it then, screw ‘em.

2017 Southwest Pole Championship

Then revealed the big question. How to I explain to people what I do in a way that is simple and understandable. Keep in mind that, although pole dancing has come a long way in terms of credibility (we’re now an official sport, people ;)), it’s still coupled in a lot of people’s minds with strip clubs. Personally, I respect the art of pole in any context, stripping included. I mean, pole dancing as a sport in the Western world was first pioneered by strippers in the club who were bold enough to take their skills to the next level. Without them, I would not have found my calling. They deserve all of the credit.

Pole dancing has taken tremendous strides toward breaking the taboo and becoming a respected art form in the fitness industry but, as with anything, you just can’t change everyone’s mind. In this article, I have listed a couple of helpful tips when it comes to having “the talk” with someone for the first time. It can be daunting and scary to reveal something that may or may not receive a positive reaction; hell, I have had people flat out roll their eyes and lose all respect for me in that very moment. So, here are some tips to overcome that anxiety and help you own it!

Which leads me to my first tip…

OWN IT!
You’re a bonefied badass! You can lift your entire body weight with just your arms and twist yourself into a human pretzel AT THE SAME TIME! Can this person you’re talking to do that? Probs not. Remember, it takes two people to make a situation awkward. Otherwise, it’s one person just having a normal conversation at ease and another being a quiet, standoffish, mess. Don’t be that person! Tell them you pole dance for fun, or for work, whatever the case may be, with the same matter-of-fact tone you would use to tell someone you drive a Honda or have three siblings. It just is; it’s who you are; and it’s not up for debate.

ENLIGHTEN THEM!
Get that phone out! Show them that awesome trick or spin you landed in class this week or pull up a YouTube video of one of your favorite pole artists. This poor soul has not experienced the epic badassery that pole has to offer. You owe it to them to educate their feeble minds. Who knows, you may even convert them! Even if you are not super advanced or experienced, you are taking the initiative to get fit and you just so happen to be doing it the sexy way ;).

BRING THEM INTO THE FOLD!
Invite them to come to a class with you, or to come take your class if you’re an instructor. The best way for someone to truly understand what you do is to experience it for themselves. Most people realize how much strength and coordination it takes to perform well in this sport even if they talk smack about it at first. A good litmus test to gauge their level of indignation is to challenge them to try it. I’ve been known to declare a handstand contest in the middle of a bar! That may be a little extreme but, you get the point. You never know, some people may surprise you and rise to the challenge!

So, there you have it! I hope these tips help relieve some of the stress of letting people in on this part of your life. They have worked wonders for me and, I can tell you affirmatively that I have never been happier than when I started living my life unapologetically without worrying what other people had to say about what makes me happy. Life is too short to hide who you are or to waste time on people who don’t accept you; every part of you.

Happy steeming,

-Ginja-