Men and Emotional Work why we avoid it and the benefits of doing it
They say that women are twice as likely to work on their emotional shadows than men. The whole matcho image is all well and good until you take a step back and realise that actually as men, persisting with this social stigma is not only damaging to ourselves in our search to become our best versions, but it is also damaging to our relationships, people in our life, and who we draw in on unhealed wounds.
Imagine the kind of relationships we could have if we weren't projecting all that pent-up sadness and anger we have been told to suppress as men. Imagine we actually owned and dealt with our shit so we could feel happiness at a deep level and not just on a superficial level, papering over the cracks with drugs, alcohol, food, or whatever the vice might be? Because that's what we as men do, we turn to these plasters as solutions. We as men will try and stuff, bury, and avoid our demons. Men want to fix things rather than talking them through or attempt to deal with them.
On a personal note I have spent the last few years doing this work. The transformation has been amazing for me, far less triggered and I am able to enjoy much better relationships without projecting a load of internal bullshit. Its far from easy, in fact its extremely painful at times but the payoffs are huge. It's now my passion to help other men which I am now doing through sessions over Skype. Below is a recent video which goes into this in more detail.
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Tony Sayers,
Love, care, courage
contact- [email protected]
You Tube channel- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUlBk7Hpbajt2nfA74JufmQ
website- https://transcendingtimes.org/
Author of the book 'Are you Living or just Existing?'
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or paperback version at
Men look at emotions like
Women look at math.
A strange unknown territory that only brave souls dare tread.
Further, men are told that they should open up, but whenever they do, society and the women in their lives (and sometimes men) take the moment to stab them deep where it hurts the most.
Men are viewed as disposable work horses, and for one of them to complain means it is no longer doing its job and its usefulness to society and women is gone. And then its off to the glue factory.
Other men see this, and are double reluctant to open up.
Anyway, online, in privacy, a man can read and learn and grow.
I agree we have been supressed but its a self fulfilling prophecy because we're not allowed to think like that, we are supposed to just take it on the chin!
There is always a self fulfilling prophecy part to this,
however, what i speak of is hardwired, lower brain, feminine nature.
Such as, the guys who lose their wives / girlfriends when they get a major illness is legion.
Also, i have seen this play out even with highly spiritual, highly self aware women.
very good post,,
thank you for share
Thanks for the feedback
Nice post man, I cant agree more, only when we let go of all that macho bullshit can we actually begin to heal the insecurities within.
Exactly time to end this bullshit belief!
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Great photography
Thank you for your well thought out insight @tonysayers Peace..