Co-sleeping, why do Western authorities tell us it's dangerous?
Co-sleeping
In western society we have been told time and time again that sleeping beside our babies is beyond bad parenting and potentially life threatening due to the risk of accidentally suffocating our child.
This propaganda has led to countless babies being separated from their Mothers during in sleep hours and countless Mothers denying their natural maternal instinct out of fear they could cause their child to become a victim of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).
In truth it appears that not only is a Mother sleeping beside her baby beneficial to for the brain development of the infant but on the contrary to what we are told, can dramatically help prevent cases of SIDS.
I understand the issue of co-sleeping or getting our babies to sleep in solitary with regards to the potential risks and benefits is both a sensitive issue for parents who have lost children to SIDS, and a huge area of concern for those who want what is best for their babies health and development in the long run.
My own parents unfortunately lost a baby girl to SIDS a few years before I was born.
Now I am married and have a 4 month old boy, and with my wife being from Indonesia where co-sleeping and a generally more attached approach to parenting is the norm, the matter of where our baby should sleep has been raised.
Although my own Mother suffered the loss of a baby who was actually in solitary, she is still conditioned to believe that solitary sleeping is the safe option. My wife Nindy and I are 100% in favor of having baby sleep next to her on the bed. We chose not to voice our veiw to my Mum and told her our little G sleeps in a crib.
I refer you to the video below where Dr James J. McKenna an expert in the field, elegantly explains the truth about co-sleeping, then follow with my own views on how solitary sleeping could have potentially detrimental effects.
The more I consider this issue the more in favor I become of not only baby being within boobs reach of Mummy and being able to immediately sense her and even Dad's presence energies but also feel it could be good to keep babies in at least the same room well into their toddler years and perhaps beyond.
I actually think its traumatising for an infant to wake in the night and realise they have been abandoned, apparently children naturally tend to overcome separation anxiety by the time they are around 4 or 5 years old and maybe we should be allowing of the natural order and to an extent letting our children decide when they want their own sleeping quarters.
As someone who has suffered a fairly serious drug addiction and is thankfully 4 years recovered, I am aware there are some underlying causes that lead to addiction as well as other mental health issues
When I speak of addiction I reference anything including the addictive tendency towards T.V. or faceboook, eating too much sugary or junk foods, shopping or gambling addictions, porn or sex addictions, substance addictions like tobacco, alcohol, pharmaceuticals and illegal drugs, through to the more abstract addiction to the self.
I'm firmly of the belief that one of the surest ways we can help prevent children growing up to seek comfort and security in superficial things which encourage them to turn away or even isolate themselves from healthy relationship to fellow human beings is by raising them in the most nurturing environment we can achieve.
The American Association Of Pediatrics recommends babies should sleep in a separate room by the age of 1 because they will sleep for a longer period, but I fail to see any evidence why sleeping longer is beneficial and after reading about Brazil's Pirahã tribe who only take 20 minute naps think that even us as adults spend too long dozing.
Maybe children don't comprehend why they would have to sleep in a separate room and actually take it as a form of being rejected or even unloved and worthless, exactly the subconscious beliefs that fuel people to seek comfort in pointless or even destructive past times that temporarily subdue such feelings, or buy into the latest products because not having them triggers a deep rooted sense of not being good enough.
Advertising on the whole plays on us not feeling good enough and aims to sell us something that will make us or our lives "better" and each new Government promises to give us a better country and a more secure future.
All anyone really wants in life is happiness, and we all have a desire for security. Call me crazy but it's quite possible those in power know that having these things removed early on will cause people to continue seeking them as they grow and subsequently buying any product or ideology that is pushed upon them by the mainstream which promises a taste of them.
Bed share co-sleeping might just encourage chlidren to bond better with their parents and grow up finding more value in relationships with other people and help stop the hamster wheel of seeking self worth and security in things that ultimately create boundaries and divisions or distance between us all.
Excellent, article. It always amazes me that people take these "experts" seriously.
I agree with this article. I think that there are so many things like co-sleeping that the "experts" have tried turning Americans away from, and I believe in the big scheme of things is a detriment to society.
Wish I had a bed big enough to fit my whole family in it!
Co-sleeping makes total sense. Instinctively.
A bed can never be big enough :)
:D almost right. Dimension of his side is correct. Her side 10% more as his side. The rest belongs to our daughter (in a 2m by 2m bed) at the moment. Funnily in the van the bed is only 1.6m by 2m and his side has the same dimension, hers side shrink's more to his the dimension to his side.
I was used to 1.8x2 for me alone (long time) before. Now I wonder if I ever will get more then 60cm out for me.
edit: busy makes me to comment on my own post :/
would you fit a bunkbed in the van?
No, no way. How the van is for living in it, 1.6m is already tiny :/
And the design of the van is that everything is not higher then 80cm (except one board), so up it looks bigger and more spacious. The Idea is to switch on day to a bus, with two proper beds :)
But first we have to recover and get some business rolling to roll on.
It looks cozy right enough
It's actually a total mystery how this happens, you go to sleep with enough room and awake only a couple cm from rolling out of bed.. It takes a lot of effort to push someone to the edge of a bed
:D Sometimes, when I go later to sleep it's even worst. Tonight (or better in the morning) there was only the edge left for me. But I start to come up with the theory that body height is anti-proportional to the weight occupied in bed. So if I would shrink I could get a bigger share in the bed.
Good Article. I think Mothers cant b sleeping without Small babies. Its an against of Nature. All positive persons never think against NATURE.
Very good article, nowadays it is recommended to practice co-sleeping or family bed, I have a baby of 6 months and I still sleep with her.
Room sharing is recommended for at least the first 6 months yes, though we are told bed sharing is dangerous even though the evidence points to it actually being safest under natural circumstances and it makes sense that a baby should be in direct sensory perception of its parents. It makes no sense at all to put our babies in separate rooms by the time they are only 1 which is recommended, it's not natural.
Thanks for this good article. I think the most important thing is to do as the parents and the child feel best and not listen too much on experts. My little son sleeps in his own room and since then me and my wife sleep much better and so does he. Before he slept in his own crib beside our bed and we all woke up lots of times during night and were exhausted in the morning. However, that doesn't mean that this has to be the best solution for anyone else.
It can be tough making decisions about how to best raise kids especially with a million different opinions by others about what is best for them. The key word you used here was feel, I think we all need to learn how to tune into the intelligence of nature and do what we feel is authentically best despite what ever train of thought we have acquired from external information.
Co sleeping seems dangerous. I agree. But how many people are co sleeping on a bed nowadays.
Hundreds and thousands and millions, especially across Asia.
Thank you very much for telling me these. ....
Nice information keep it up
常识，非同寻常的知识。
Common sense, extraordinary knowledge.