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RE: [HEALTH] Anorexia and Bulimia - the mind screw of two eating disorders

in #health8 years ago

Reading this, I was deeply moved. I was always the "skinny" one in my family, so I did not deal with this pressure growing up. But then, after having children, my body changed and I carried an extra 10lbs. There were other factors in my life at the time, telling me I was no longer attractive or sexy and that my husband was no longer going to be attracted to me. At that time, unaware of what I was doing, I began to exercise at least an hour a day, I was nursing my infant, running around after my toddler, and only eat 900 calories a day! I believe the only thing that kept me from going into full anorexia was the fact that I became pregnant with my third child, and then shortly after that my husband was diagnosed with cancer. With those two events, I stopped caring what the scale said, I had no emotional energy to care. Now, years later I am on a quest to have healthy thought patterns when it comes to food, while losing about 10lbs so I can get back into the healthy bracket after eating comfort food for a few years as I grieved the loss of my first husband. Thanks for the post @merej99 its a good reminder that health is way sexier than a number on a scale.

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I guess that's what it takes - something more important to focus on. I divorced my first husband and was a single mom of 3 young boys. My self-esteem was completely shot. I was overweight, suffer depression, and couldn't sleep without a warm body next to me. At the time I had to eat because I needed as much energy as I could have to get out of bed and take care of my kids. There were some days when my only personal goal was to shower. But when I began to recover, I began to worry about my body again. Who would date a fat body with 3 kids, right? I'd better skinny up so I'd have a fighting chance at love again. But I knew I needed to be healthy for my kids - even if I didn't care about being healthy for myself. I'm not sure if that made sense.
At the time, I chose other destructive behavior like booze and promiscuity, and kept food in the rotation. I guess that's what people with addiction problems do. Thankfully, with the help of very good friends, I was able to heal my mind too. And my current husband loves all of me - from my curves (in the right and wrong places) to my funky feet. But boy, what a battle.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm sure it wasn't easy. I just want you to know that you are not alone and from the people who have posted here, you've got a built in Steemit support group. :) <3

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