I'm a single mum with two teenage boys with chronic health conditions. Somehow, I got it in my head that I had to cope with all of this alone. I have no idea where this came from, but it's been there. It adds to my stress levels, and certainly doesn't help my kids.

Once I decided I really didn't need to do it all by myself, the next issue was working out what help I needed to ask for, especially when people offered to help. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

Here are a few things I've come up with:

1. Meals – these are always useful and welcome, however check first before dropping something around, unless it can be frozen!
2. Groceries – sometimes I struggle to get to the supermarket to stock the cupboards with staple items such as milk, eggs, bread, and snacks to feed two growing teenagers! Delivering a box of groceries would be appreciated, again, check first to see what items are needed and if there are any dietary issues.
3. Housework – I know that this is one of the first areas to slip when life gets tough. Often it’s not so much having the time, but having the energy to tackle that pile of clean washing, scrub the bathroom, or do the vacuuming. Before tackling the cleaning, ask what are the areas that are causing the biggest headaches and start there, or even provide the family with a cleaner for a few weeks.
4. Transport – are you in a position to pick up or drop off kids to school or other activities? This could be very helpful meaning parents don’t have to do all the driving. There may also be some medical appointments where Mum or Dad doesn’t have to be there but the kids are unable to get there themselves.
5. Money – having chronically ill kids is expensive! There are medical appointments, parking at the hospital, medication, mobility aids, dietary requirements, and more that parents need to pay for. Sometimes there can be a choice between getting a prescription filled and doing a large supermarket shop!
6. A listening ear – parents of chronically ill children are bombarded with advice. Some of the best assistance I’ve received is from people who are just happy to let me talk and get out all the stress over a cup of coffee, or ice cream! These friends will just listen without offering advice, and it’s usually accompanied with a hug and some tissues!
7. Home Maintenance – this could include anything from offering to mow the lawn and weed the garden, to taking the car for a service or fixing things around the house. These are often bigger tasks that can be hard to organise, even calling a handyman to do some of these jobs is just one more thing that parents need to do but often get pushed down the list.
8. Something fun – for us, getting out and doing something just for fun, like going out for dinner or to see a movie, rarely happens. These can be a strain on already stretched finances and something else to spend energy on. Offering to take the parents, kids, or the whole family out for a fun activity or giving a voucher for movie tickets or similar, will be most appreciated.

If you are living with chronic illness, these are just a few things you could ask for help with. If you know someone living with a chronic illness, these are some things you can offer to do - or even just show up at the door with a meal or some groceries.