Day 31 - Time to face Reality outside the Clinic
Well Im packing my things and getting ready to leave the clinic, I shall be returning on a weekly basis for continuted therapy and urine tests to prove that I am not using Cannabis for the next few months. I am not 100% convinced that this is really the best solution but I have accepted this as my new reality.
Today I will move my things into a small room that I have rented and start my new life. Focusing on getting mentally prepared for starting work is my first priority as well as trying to be happy. I just wish there was an easier way to forget about my sorrows but time appears to be the only healthy way to treat my pain.
I wish I was stronger and didn't care so much about my former partner so much, but 14 years is a long time and the dependence that an addict and his partner can develop to one another over such a long period of time is a messy emotional mess especially when there are children are evolved.
Separating Logic from feelings, when your brain is telling you one thing ( Move ahead dont look back its for the best for everybody ) and your heart the oposite ( Having a hard time differentiating love and emotional dependence ) Is pretty damn hard right now.
I just wanted to thank all of you that were constantly writing supportive comments and giving me suggestions on how to overcome this hardship, I was told by people here in the clinic that its silly to post my personal experiences on social media that I should write a private diary and keep it to myself.
Well I disagree and Steemit is diferent than regular social media as far as Im concerned.
BTW today is my third day not smoking cigarettes I feel good about that, but at this stage all the gross stuff is starting to come up....
Love you Steemit!!
Silly people in clinic don't know Steemians! How else can we support you if we don't know what is happening? Just think...even while going through a difficult time you actually made money with all your posts and you got support and good advice. Win win situation. Now put your mind to getting through this day and then...take it one day at a time. Be the best you can be for one day at a time...
I agree ! One day at a time !!👍👍👍
Much strength and happiness on your next steps :-)
hope it works for you! was sober for two years - not for everyone.
Welcome back P! See you soon =)
You've made a postive impact in a lot of Steemians and please know even though we are spread all over this beautiful blue dot I am sure there are many here that are sending you postive thoughts and have passed the through some of the challenges you face and I'm sure will overcome.
Unlike people any time of the day or night Steemit will be here.
The next few days will be tough but remember to take each day one at a time. You will get through these tough times.
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The power of positive thinking is very true ! Stay dedicated and postive , you can do this ! Best of luck to you and your family , stay strong !! 👍👍👍
"I was told by people here in the clinic that its silly to post my personal experiences on social media that I should write a private diary and keep it to myself.
Well I agree and Steemit is different than all other social media as far as I am concerned."
I agree with you, Steemit is a good place to share your life, good and bad experiences... wauw we really have something special here on Steemit.
I went though divorce in 2010, and my emotions was completely out of control for many years... not all the time, but for me it was very hard to accept the divorce, because of our son. Even here today 7 years later, its emotional, but I think I got more used to dealing with the situation and focusing on the positives: that I have a great son and I have freedom to do whatever I want.
I got less and less contact with my ex wife, as she rarely write to me, its mostly me writing to her... and I don't even do that so much anymore.. but we use email to communicate mostly and that have worked for us to some extend.
In person conversations in the past, often got too dramatic for everyone. I am not saying what we did is right for everyone, but it is one way to do it.
My son is 8 now and him and I have a close bond between us in my view.. but still it will never be the same as if we lived together everyday.
You seams more reflective about your situation then I was in the past, since I was really having a very very difficult life situation for years... and I didn't have any place like steemit to turn to, only some other men in similar shitty situation and looking back it didn't help me much, so I mostly had to deal with the hardship myself... asleast you have Steemit :)