Oh my goodness! You have no idea how worried I have been about you! I so wish I could have done more to help you. You live so far away from me but when I read your email my heart sank and tears fell. I wanted so much to really reach out to you, hug you, tell you it will all work out, but I just didn't know how. I hate email and even commenting like this. It's so impersonal. I wanted to give you a real hug, not a virtual one. I have even thought of contacting Zen to have him check on you as you said you were friends. I have sent you my prayers to give you courage to get through this time. I too had such a "dark night of the soul" several years ago, that I was convinced that the world would be a much better place without me. I came so close to ending it all. But somehow I pulled myself out. And I'm filled with joy and relief that you wrote this. I had completely forgotten about Steemit until today while doing some internet cleanup and saw a post from a while ago that you made. Please know, that you are always loved, even when you don't feel it, and don't feel it for yourself. And there ARE angels watching out for you, you have no idea (well maybe you do).
I'm still sending you all the love and healing I know how to do. I'm on your email list so if you ever need or want to email me I hope you know you can.
So much love and a big virtual hug!
Lynn