DEPRESSION: A REAL STRUGGLE
2years ago, I was sitting alone in a fast food restaurant while waiting for my friends to turn up when I notcied a very cute girl across the room. She was alone too enjoying a meal while busy with an iPad, smiling and giggling a lot. I noticed a lot of guys there were staring at her too, she definitely caught a lot of attention . I was still waiting for my friends to show up and they were taking forever so I got bored and thought "what the hell... I'll just try to hang out with the cute girl". So I walked up to her and asked if I could join her and just my luck she consented.
We started talking and getting along, saw some funny videos together online on her ipad and laughed. We were having so much fun then I noticed some scars on her forearm, I asked how she got them and she said they were just some old bruises from an accident. I wasn't convinced but at the same time didn't want to push it so I ignored it and we just hung out until my friends finally!! Joined me and they were all "tripping" when they saw her, then she said she had to go so we just exchanged contacts and she left.
We kept in touch for a while, hung out a lot and she was one of the coolest girls I ever met. Just when we were really hitting it off I asked about the scars on her forearm again and this time she told me the truth. She said she used to get so sad and emotional some times that she deliberately cut herself and she didn't know why, even though she didn't do that anymore she still felt that way sometimes and hated herself for it. I was stunned... I was looking at a case of severe depression, it was so shocking to me because she was so cheerful, from a rich home, very attractive and a fun person to be with. This was my first real encounter with this kind of situation. Coincidentally I had just started learning about psychiatry in school so this made me have even more interest in the course.
The closer I got to her the more I saw her gloomy side, she only whore a mask of smiles when she was with company but faced her demons in silence. We got to a point where she could be herself around me and no matter how much I made her smile she still had mood swings afterwards. Eventually she started withdrawing and avoiding me because she felt insecure about having feelings for me and was certain I would hurt her. That was one messed up situation but she couldn't help it, battling with so much emotions and negative feelings. I had to let her go because at that point I was worried I might do more damage than good. I don't want to turn this into a love story but I still haven't completely gotten over her yet, I just hope she can be happy.
I learned a lot from that experience, combined with what I learned from psychiatry it made me more aware of mental illnesses, I suddenly noticed a lot of signs I missed before, people around me who were dealing with issues that killed them inside, people acting like everything is alright and hoping that one day it will be. There is a lot more to it than most people think, it's not just about feeling sad or down and having good things and success in your life doesn't guarantee a life without depression.
I'll definitely write more about depression as time passes but for now let me just say depression is real, a lot of us have had a taste of it, some of us have defeated it, some have lost to it and some are still fighting, it's a dangerous health issue and it's incidence is growing.