I'm sorry to hear you had near death experiences... that would be so scary. I agree, sometimes telling people what doesn't kill you makes you stronger is not the best advice.

I was recently talking to a friend who use to be in the army... and he has the exact same symptoms as you. It's hard for him to feel motivated because he is so desensitized. Things that would normally freak him out no longer do that...

Everyone's healing and coping process is different. I think the best thing you can do for someone is to just be there for them.