My Son has ADHD...Should I Have Known??

My son was recently diagnosed with ADHD. Throughout his entire life, I thought he was just "being a boy" or "had a lot of energy" and "that's his personality." I had him at a young age so I didn't have friends with kids or a lot of mom friends to compare him too. We didn't have many playdates and so I didn't suspect anything.

At this 7 year-old wellness visit, the Nurse Practitioner (NP) recommended he get evaluated for possibly ADHD as he was jumping off the examination bed, chair, and lying on the ground. I told her I didn't want to medicate him and we discussed the pros/cons of it.

A psychologist focuses on psychotherapy, discussing, listening, and analyzing on your mental and emotional well-being and guides you to help you figure out how to cope with what's going on in your life. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor trained to prescribe medication based on your mental diagnosis.

As I didn't want to medicate him, I made an appointment with a psychologist for him. I wasn't sure of what exactly to expect, but I was imagining some kind of formal assessment to be done. Instead, it was mainly a parent interview and some observation of him during the visit. I had filled out a questionnaire (NICHQ Vanderbilt Assessment Scales - Used for Diagnosing ADHD) and it became quite clear that he had ADHD (link for questionnaire below). I also received a copy for my husband, and for his teacher to fill out. As my husband was answering, he started to say, "omgomgomg he has ADHD."

Over the years, my husband would ask/suspect if he had ADHD, but I had denied it, using the excuses for his behavior and lack of focus I mentioned above. I was very similar to him growing up, and I'm a health professional and know the symptoms of ADHD, and said it was very normal. But was I right? (I'll go into this in a future post.) I suppose he believed me because I would always reassure him that he just had a lot of energy and he's doing well in school, so he didn't have ADHD. Furthermore, he LOVES to read. He could sit for an hour just reading non-stop. He could play board games (even though he cried when he lost) and was a good and sweet boy. Of course he didn't have ADHD. But his behavior section in his report card was an N (Needs to Improve) his last trimester of 1st grade, and with the NP's recommendation, I suspected he might have it.

Anyways, I went back to the NP to start him on medication, because the psychologist said our relationship would be better. This was what made me change my mind. I was studying/tutoring him after school and I would constantly be raising my voice and getting frustrated with him and he would often cry. "I JUST told you this 5 seconds ago, and 3 times. WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?!?" "Sit still! Where are you going?" It was a constant battle and study time and our time together was NOT fun.

So he started on medications, and I had a LOT of questions, but the NP was very patient, understanding, and helpful. She told us it would be a trial and error and finding the right medication and right dosage would take time. There were possible side effects like decreased appetite, possible tics (which he had/has), and moodiness. But once he started, it was like night and day. He was focused, doing his work; he would sit still and I was able to get up and get some house chores done while he was finishing an assignment. I was afraid he'd lose his personality when he took his medication, but I'm so relieved and glad to say that he's still the same kid!

Eventually, as he gets older, the idea and hope is for him to wean himself off the medication. One day, he'll decide he doesn't want it anymore and think that he can cope without it on his own. That will be another transition time for him, but until then, the medication (or "Brain Vitamins" as we call it) have been helping him immensely while he studies. He distracts the class less, he's more focused, he listens to what we say, and our relationship is better. As the psychologist and psychiatrist we saw both said, 99.9% of kids with ADHD have a higher IQ. Their brains are working that much faster, and are processing much more information than their peers. They get bored. So they fidget and move around a lot, but then they get in trouble because they're not sitting still and focusing, and are causing a distraction. This can lead to other students to think the kid is a troublemaker or doesn't do well in class. So I'm glad we were able to realize this early.

I used to blame myself that I should have caught this earlier, or known this about my son. However, he was at the age where ADHD is usually diagnosed (6-7) and teachers are not supposed to suggest or diagnose kids. I'm just glad the NP was observant and made the recommendation for an assessment and grateful for her. I'm someone who doesn't like to take ibuprofen or acetaminophen for a headache. So I was against medication. But with the right professionals, research, and friends who chimed in with their experience or knowledge with families with kids with ADHD, I had an open mind and am glad where we are right now. He has a lot of traits that I had as a kid, up to college, and sometimes now, so I thought it was normal! Now that I know and understand more about ADHD, my husband and I are suspecting I have adult ADHD/ADD. I'm still in the process of talking to a mental health professional...so we'll see what's going on with me!

Vanderbilt Assessment: https://www.nichq.org/sites/default/files/resource-file/NICHQ_Vanderbilt_Assessment_Scales.pdf