Dear Diary: How Am I Handling My Gargantuan Wave Of A Problem? I Ride It

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If you would put my medical problem in another person that person will probably jump from a tall building or something. But as for me I cannot really survive this without the help of external entity like steemit community and God because of the enormous size of them all sandwiched together.

It is still maybe okay if being a dialysis patient is just like that and no complications. But it has complications and those things makes it terrible as it gives me pain and suffering.

The disability from talking makes me so frustrated because it robs me of the opportunity to communicate well. I now sounded like I am gibberish to other people so they just do not want to talk to me or maybe make fun of how I talk so most of the time I just keep things to myself.

The way I eat is another tough thing there. Sometimes I just want to eat rice gruel so that I can just sip it down but sometimes ti has bits and pieces that gets stuck at the back of my lips and it falls down and it gets messy. It also gets messy when I eat rice and eating which should be enjoyable now is just a work in itself and my way to survive the day.

Loss of appetite is another factor in my situation so I take some medicine for it that seems to work a little not to mention its price which is heavy on my pockets. I may discontinue them if they won't work as intended.

Then this pain that is like mocking me, sometimes it goes away and sometimes like today it grips me and pins me down. I am just glad that I thought that I will never take anti-pain medicines anymore but my bone pain forces me again but this time I won't because of the fear of giving me another illness.

It could have been better if my parathyroid medicine is working thoroughly but it just isn't working completely as if the Pharma that made it somewhat just want me to buy and buy. It is not a cheap medicine and too few people takes it and if they do they give up because of its distasteful after-effects.

Despite all that I have to take it for the fear that my pain will return with a vengeance on my poor soul.

Riding my problems to survive, that is what I do and I will not lose heart until my final demise as all things have an end to it so it is better to have a God in our lives and steemit in our right.