Hello @elsueterflofi! You are a beautiful girl who sadly had to go through some rough life experience.

I too had a rough childhood, so throughout my childhood I've been a weird guy, mostly closed off from the world outside, immersed into documentaries and philosophies of any kind, but as time went on and I looked more for a way to treat my own depression, I have found that no fap and cold showers can help a great deal. They did so for me, at least.

Look into more people who share their experiences with those "diets". It can only help.

Any way, remember than everything that has been said to you, it wasn't your fault. It was coming from hurting people, which didn't know any better. They were hurting inside, so the only thing they were able to do was to hurt whoever was outside. You have no fault in that.

Look up for Life is beautiful and full of amazing gifts.

I'm curious about who you are and hope to see more of you. I have followed you and upvoted.

Thank you for your courage to express those bad experiences through this beautiful post of yours! Look up, Life is beautiful!