The Hand that Broke the Cradle

This is the Hand that smacked a dying women (Mom) pink/purple/blue the last days of her life. Notorious lack of impulse control since he was a child, never addressed, accepted as "Spanish temper".

This is the Hand that thought teaching the grandchildren to "properly shoot up heroin" was an important skill set.

This is the Hand that threw bricks, blocks, knives, screw drivers, what ever he could find when he was angry with me, until the day I pick up a 6 foot 2X4 and said "That's it motherfucker, lets go...you have hit me for the last time"...I was 15 years old and it was witnessed by one of his friends...who smiled so big when I said this...and freaked the Hand out.

I believe this was the first time he recognized his behavior was deemed unacceptable by his good buddies.

This is the Hand to which the Jordan Peterson was speaking of when he said "Men should grow up."

I was stunned to here Mr Peterson's words, for he listed everything this "Hand" represented... everything.

Overgrown child, a person who is the perpetual victim, who only wants to bitch, have their way or no way at all.

I spent an entire day in a hospital ...waiting for a treatment that took way longer than the 25 minutes it should have, because the condition was far worse than what was initially considered. The "Hand" didn't listen to directions, the classic "Fuck you" way he has always lived, cost him an additional two hours on the table...for he ate when he should not have eaten.

Doc is not hopeful for outcome...the procedure was a quick fix, but not permanent ...g-tube is needed...
We get in the car and he is ready to blame his previous docs fucked up, stating "Fuck it, if they don't care, I won't care."

"No Dad, you said Fuck you to you...you are asshole, you don't listen, you don't do what you need to do, everyone is wrong, you are the only one right, and now we are here...so you need to listen. "

He is Cuban, transplanted via Spain, my father and his father who migrated ..and believe me...I understand very much of the sociopathic life of other types of cultures and demographics where men like to consider their women and children property and what you own is his, etc.

Nothing was sacred, and he lived a small and wretched life... I promised Mom...
I don't want to do this...
But I promised...
Damn.

I write this as a cathartic...because its not like I can talk to anyone...I can't...nothing to be said...