It's strange that you experienced depersonalization without, apparently, any of the other symptoms often associated with anxiety, and that you had to go to the doctor to realize it was anxiety. When I experienced depersonalization, I was having panic attacks. The other symptoms of the panic attacks took center stage, and depersonalization lasted only for seconds at a time, and it was an extremely strange feeling, reminded me of the out-of-body experiences I had heard people describe in books and movies.

I also want to note that 'blaming the victim', so to speak, does more harm than good. I was told by many people, including doctors, to 'get a grip of myself'. I told them, "that's like saying to a person with amputated legs that he should grab himself by the shirt and pull himself up". Impossible. My life was fine - at least nothing our of the ordinary was going on, things were neither good nor bad, just normal - and that's when the panic attacks happened. I've had much worse things happen to me, and the panic attacks were nowhere to be found in those cases.

My point is, from my own experience, this is clearly a brain thing. A psychiatrist recommended benzodiazepines and I improved immediately. I don't like pills, so I gradually lessened the doses, and kicked the meds after a few months. I began to exercise and eat well, and I've been fine to this day.

I just worry that when you look for the source of the anxiety in the person who's experiencing the anxiety, you're just adding to his anxiety. You may be right, of course, factually, for some people, but in my case the reason for the anxiety I believe was purely biological, or external, but had nothing to do with my internal thought processes.