Will Google hire me if I hack into its HQ and schedule a job interview?

DAVID SEIDMAN Hiring manager at Google
I’m the manager of a part of the team at Google that tries to detect intrusions like the one you describe. We would be very impressed by your technical skill in penetrating our network successfully and without detection. We would be very unimpressed by your lack of ethics and common sense in conducting such a penetration without permission. This would almost certainly preclude any possibility of you getting a job; more likely, we’d refer your case to law enforcement for prosecution. You just caused us a lot of work. We need to conduct forensics on every system you touched to make sure you didn’t do anything else besides scheduling that interview.