My Left Hand Path

hashsteemin (49)in #godless • 5 months ago

The little time I have spent on actual shadow work is not much because I am not going to rush the process of reinventing myself and utilizing my dark side. Research is actually interesting and fun but it is very time consuming for me to fully grasp the things that I need to focus on. Meditation/sexual ceremonial Meditation is helping me to find guidance from demonic and other entities. It is also an erotic experience that I feel derived my feminine energy to shine with pride.

The nun sexy outfit is not a real part of my rituals or any other ceremonial practices that I know of it is fun sometimes in the right moment and place....I especially like the bottom half with the long dress and open hips. There are occasionally feelings of a dominant masculine essence making itself part of lustful and powerful orgasmic meditation or chanting while I am wearing it. Once while focusing on Lucifuge Rofacal's Enn and sexualy pleasing myself...and a few other times before that I experienced the same thing except it was with Satan and listening to his Enn. All of these were intense and extremely vivid as it seems to increase and feel like I am possibly getting close to having a real fully physical encounter eventually. The essence of Lucifuge during that meditation was sudden and I was surprised to feel it so strongly. Each time I have spent on my back in the sexual meditation and focusing on the Enn for Satan was completely intentional. I have welcomed the opportunity to be femininized sexualy and I am beginning to study more about sex magick.

I'm grateful to Lilith for the introduction to the shadow and being my coach in the transition from being a scared girl to the unashamed,skirt wearing, sissy slutt walking to the store...I still have some issues that need to be addressed and I will have to stand up to with the confidence and sexual freedom of the woman who was suppressed deep inside me for years.