Wow. It’s looking like I go out of my way to fuck up different aspects of my life.

Dug myself into quite the fucking hole  

No s ense of prioritizing 

Apathetic but constantly anxious 

Frequent, haphazard, thoughts 

Bombarding 

That second before I’m awake  and consciously aware

That limbo 

Is precious

Anhedonia but I don’t really care 

So fucking ignorant-I probably deserve this 

All of my problems •dictating my life• are a result of my actions 

Just want to experience genuine excitement/joy that lasts longer than a second / that isn’t instantly followed by guilt and self loathing

Can I get over •through this alone?

I want to believe I can but I don’t 

I’ve been trying 

But I can’t love myself 

I don’t know what that feeling is 

I can’t refer back to anything 

I need a step by step w/ pictures 

I need a wikihow (w/ pictures) on how to love myself

Everything just hit me, emotionally, all at once.

And really just feeling like a piece of shit.

Having a really fucking difficult time 

Being with myself in a conscious state 

I’m desperate for words of encouragement and/or endearment validating my existence.

Really need some love right now 

I can’t keep this up 

I really can’t 

I’m barely keeping it together-emotionally 

On the verge of tears at any given moment 

Fucking up at uni just from incompetence and not having the ability to meet a deadline or even complete the work (I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail).

Everything just hit me, emotionally, all at once.

And really just feeling like a piece of shit.

I can’t find a genuine reason

A perspective that isn’t obligatory