It’s Gay Pride Month: But what about the Polyamorists

It’s June 2019: gay pride month. A month to reflect on the hard won legal rights of the LGBTQ community, and the struggles that still lie ahead. There is much progress to be made all over the world.

Love knows no boundaries. This is a fundamental, undeniable truth. Societies and governments have created legal and cultural barriers to love, but these are illusions of the mind. There is no force on Earth that can create a true barrier between two or more hearts. Love is the most powerful force in the universe.

This gay pride month I reflect on the truth of my own sexual nature. It is a fact that most people have had sexual fantasies about the same sex at some point in their lives. They may never act on these fantasies, and that’s okay, but it is an inescapable facet of the human psyche to feel attraction for others, and that attraction is not always clearly defined by gender.

I have had these fantasies before, and I am not afraid to admit it. I have no intention of ever acting on them, because that is not my true will, but I believe that admitting this to ourselves and to the world can be liberating. There is nothing wrong with homosexuality. It is simply another expression of love.

I believe that a lot of the fear and bigotry surrounding the cultural acceptance of homosexuality stems from a subconscious fear that accepting this might somehow legitimize repressed homoerotic fantasies in the heterosexual individual. People are afraid of admitting that they’re a little bit gay themselves. But psychological research has shown that nearly everyone is in fact a little bit gay.

Sexuality doesn’t exist on two clearly defined opposite poles. It’s much more complex than that. They also fear that their kids might “turn gay” if they were to openly be accepting of homosexuality. But their children are going to experience the same desires and curiosities as they did, regardless of how strongly they attempt to repress those emotions in their children.

Furthermore, sexuality can’t be boxed in between two people if those people have feelings and desires for others. The research has also shown that most people have polyamorous desires, and most people do wind up acting on them eventually. This is why most marriages end in failure. Society’s definition of marriage as a union between two people, with no possibility or acceptance of pursuing romantic relationships outside of that union, simply doesn’t work for most people. Enter cheating and infidelity, the root cause of the failure of the majority of marriages.

But what if there was another way? What if married and unmarried couples were openminded to polyamory and established that from the outset of the relationship? This would remove the problem of infidelity or cheating from the equation, because there would be no need to hide anything. The truth is, there are far more polyamorous individuals than monogamous. Monogamy is the exception, not the rule. But society is not ready to have that discussion openly. The polyamorous have to live in the closet, much the same as homosexuals did for the majority of this country’s history.

There are no legal rights or protections for polyamorous people. If three or more people love each other, and desire to be legally married, there is no possibility of that happening under the current law. On top of this complete lack of legal protection or recognition, there is widespread cultural opposition to polyamory, despite the fact that most couples secretly engage in it behind their partner’s backs! What a recipe for cultural repression and unhappiness. It’s as if the whole society somehow convinced themselves to stigmatize their own behavior!

People aren’t going to stop sleeping with each other just because society says it’s morally wrong. The only thing all this stigma and repression has caused is the unneccesary dissolution of marriages. It tears families apart, instead of bringing more love into the home. Is it better for the children that the parents divorce, or that the parents embrace their true natures, and bring their other partners who they love and cherish into the home, and make them a part of the family, so the children may grow up to love and cherish them as well? There is only one true answer to this question, and that is that it is always in our best interest to choose love and union over hate and division.

This gay pride month, I admit that I am a little bit gay, and that there’s nothing wrong with it. I declare that polyamory is the norm, no matter how badly people want to hide it, deny it, or repress it in themselves. It is the ultimate liberation to embrace your true will and freely love who you will. I believe in a future where there are no social barriers or restrictions placed on love, and where all expressions of love between consensual adults are granted equal recognition and protection under the law.

Love is the law, love under will. No matter how you choose to love, fly your freak flag proudly. And if anyone has a problem with it, don’t hate them for their intolerance and ignorance. Deep down they are probably afraid to admit that they feel the same. We are all one people, sharing one world together. And whatever happens is a result of our love or our failure to love. I choose love!