At what age does a gay man give up looking for love and resign?
Somewhere in 2015, the legendary Graham Norton accepted that at 52 he was still single and felt like he had failed at his chance of finding love because most people, by the time they are his age, are settled. This seems to be the case with the majority of gay men and Norton's words perfectly echo the thoughts and feelings most of them go through after moving past 45 years. This is because, after you reach a certain age, the vitality of life automatically curbs itself and you start wondering will you ever find the love of your life or just remain single forever.
There’s a sense of nonchalant resignation after a point where disappointment and loneliness take a backseat and all one is left with are blank thoughts and the never-ending string of consolation that says, “there’s someone out there for everybody”. But, who has ever tested the authenticity of this statement? Had it really been this way, everyone on earth would have found a partner, including the gay men and delineated their happily ever after(s).
As far as looking for love is concerned, the scenario is quite different and way more difficult in the case of gay men as compared to straight men. No matter how firmly we try to establish ourselves supremely as individuals, the truth that man is a social being should and can never leave our consciousness. Since our childhood, we have time and again been conditioned by the preconceived norms of the society and there are certain notions that have left a huge imprint in our minds. Even in the 21st century, being gay is frowned upon and there appears no escape from it anytime soon. There are so many men who label themselves as straight and get married to women just to avoid the critical radar of society. This implies that men who truly accept their sexual preferences are left with a narrowed array to explore their possibilities and after a certain age, neither the mind nor the body supports us in seeking an area that has been proven hopeless a multiple times.
Love is indeed the sweetest feeling and therapy for all the terrible things that life throws at us- the feeling balances all the tribulations with the virtues of hope, comfort, happiness, and safety which qualify as the indispensables of wellbeing. There's no way we can fight feelings; under no circumstances can we deny that one can live a happy and full life without having a significant other by his side but, love makes it all the more beautiful. In the gay community, muscles and youthful beauty hold a higher value than all the other attributes which means, the older men are hardly left with any room to compete. Moreover, looking for love in places you have already sought it in can gradually turn out to be an excruciating experience and this when the heart shrieks to stop and get some respite from the constant rejections and consequently, resign from the chase.