10 Reasons to Date a Pokémon Trainer

Hello Steemians!

One thing I enjoy doing is writing articles in the form of lists or “Listicles”. They can be about anything that pops out of my head. Most of the time they are a spur-of-the-moment thing. Just purely random stuff I enjoy. Today’s topic is something that I’m really into - Pokemon. Enjoy!

I grew up playing Pokémon. I played every single version that came out - all seven generations of it. It was literally the first game I have ever played and as embarrassing it is to admit, I still play it to this day.

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Sadly though, Pokémon trainers are a rare, dying breed. Most of the people I know who played them have simply lost interest and have since moved on to other games or “other” things they find are more worth their time (they’re not!). And to be honest, most of us who still play it religiously like it’s still the 90’s aren’t exactly regarded as rockstars in the community. I can’t tell you how many times people have call me “childish” and “immature”.

These qualities often veer into the “turn-off” side of things but I’m here to tell you that we do have some redeeming qualities. If you’re searching for your lovey-dovey, the words “monster-hunting” and “tournament battles” might not be high on your priority list (okay maybe not even there at all) but I’m here to convince you to reconsider. We are actually cooler than we sound. I’m about to tell you why Pokemon trainers are actually the best, you know, like no one ever was.

Here are my 10 Reasons to Date a Pokémon Trainer

1. WE HAVE BALLS.
   
   Yes all 26 of it. Hyper ball, Ultra ball, Master ball, name it, we own it. As if that impressive collection is not enough to woo you! You know, it does take a huge amount of guts to be a Pokémon trainer. Imagine, starting as a humble novice, you are faced with a world of the unknown with nothing more than an empty backpack, a Pokédex and a level 5 starter Pokémon (which basically means it’s almost a puppy) as your partner. At a very young age, every trainer must leave your small town and embark on a quest to be a Pokémon champion. That’s responsibility, independence and courage right there, and we’re only getting started.

2. WE CAN TAME A BEAST.
   
   Oh boy, can we. Your constant nagging, pre-menstrual syndrome outbursts and daily assault of mood swings are nothing compared to the scorching attacks of Charizard or the nut-freezing combos of Blastoise. Yes, it can be tough at first, and it may take a few resets to get it right but when it comes to taming your inner b*tch, err… I mean, beast, a Pokémon master sure knows how it’s done.

3. WE’RE THE BEST TRAVEL BUDDIES.
   
   Perhaps the life of a Pokémon master is best described as nomadic. We mean it when we say we will travel across the land, searching far and wide. Ha-ha. We traverse through mountains, rivers, caves, dungeons, deserts and even through some other weird dimension (that’s Pokémon Platinum for the uninitiated) with a potful of wonderful experiences at every stop. As the wise Cee Lo has said , sorry if I can’t afford a Ferrari, but that don’t mean I can’t take you there. Well, who really needs a Ferrari when we can aboard the back of my Pidgeot!

4. WE ARE LOYAL.
   
   Once a Pokémon is handed to you by, say, Professor Oak, you take on a lifetime bond of friendship that is shared between you and your Pokémon that can never be broken not even by team Rocket. #MayForever

5. WE FIGHT FOR GOOD.
   
   Bad boys are so overrated! As long as we are around, Jessie, James and Meowth and the rest of their band of crooks can kiss their evil plans of world domination goodbye. We are the unsung heroes of the portable handheld gaming world and we have been for almost twenty years now. #Youllbesafehere

6. WE ARE CARING.
   
   Yes, we’ll be your Nurse Joy when you’re sick. Feed you aplenty of Pecha berries to heal your upset tummy. We’ll even make sure you take your Protein and Calcium every single day of the week to keep you prime for “battle”. And if you’re just exhausted with the world, we can sing you that Jigglypuff song to lull you into sleep. As long as we’re here, rest assured you’ll be taken care of.

7. WE ARE TOUGH AS A GOLEM.
   
   Well, okay, maybe not in real life. But some important battles are meant to be fought in a portable screen. We brave through the hardest weather conditions and the most insurmountable challenges but we still manage to get to the top. Sounds like a keeper to me.

8. WE HAVE ALL THE RIGHT MOVES.
   
   The Pokémon Move Library boasts a plethora of moves, offensive and defensive, that vary in attack power, accuracy and effectiveness. And what is a Pokémon Master without the proper skill set of moves to match, right? If you’re curious, my specialties are Lick, Harden and Pound. It is super effective!

9. WE ARE GOOD AT MAKING CRITICAL DECISIONS.
   
   There are about 718 Pokémon as of writing. That’s six generations of pocket monsters of different anatomy, skill, size and shape. However, in the game, you are only allowed to carry a maximum of six as you travel and fight for those badges. Just how do you do that? Well, a Pokémon master is faced with that ordeal every single day. At some point in your life, you’ll want to have a partner who knows how to decide between a Dragonite and a Tyranitar. Choices, people.

10. WE’RE IN FOR THE LONG HAUL.
    
    We have been trying to catch ‘em all for twenty long years. Twenty, folks. Think about that. If that doesn’t represent commitment, I don’t know what will.

And just in case you missed No. 8, my special moves are lick, harden and pound. 😜

This post originally appeared here

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