Games that kill our children
Reports of very dangerous, if not even deadly, games that Russian teenagers have taken up have become so frequent that expressions such as "the wave have covered" and "craze" are already quite appropriate. "Death groups", "Run or die", "Disappear for 24 hours": not only Moscow, but also Kuzbass schoolchildren began to receive such messages on social networks that any parent's hair would stand on end. What new dangers threaten our children, and most importantly - how to deal with them, we will understand in this article.
For starters, it is worth mentioning the message, which was actively disseminated on social networks in early February 2017. It begins with the words "Sent from the Department of Education" and contains a warning to parents. It describes extremely dangerous games that directly threaten the lives of children. Then, on February 7, Children's Ombudsman Anna Kuznetsova called on the police to investigate the "Run or Die" game. And on February 8, it became known about the suicide of a 20-year-old guy in Berezovsky. Immediately there were suggestions that the young man was in the "death group" on the social network. At the moment, everyone's attention is riveted to three teenage "hobbies": "Run or die", "Disappear for 24 hours" and "death groups" on social networks. In this article, we will try to understand in detail what each of these phenomena is and how parents can protect their children.
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"Run or Die"
What it is? This is a call to grossly violate traffic rules, endanger your own life and create a dangerous traffic situation. This "game" has no philosophy other than "show how cool you are". This is from the same opera as jumping into the snow from garages, car "hooks" and "bungee". Didn't you remember anything about your childhood, dear parents? But jokes aside: those fun were exactly the same evil as the hashtag #begiiliumri. It seems that there is no need to tell anyone about how dangerous it is to cross the road in front of the car. Why do teenagers take such risks? Why aren't new generations getting smarter? The answers to these questions lie in the field of child psychology. “As they grow older, the child's psyche must go through a stage of individuation, which will mark the transformation into a boy or a girl. This stage is reflected in the rite of transformation of a boy into a man among primitive tribes, where, undergoing a series of risky trials, a boy becomes a man. Such risky steps are taken by adolescents, showing that they have overcome fear and made this transition, respectively, in the group of adolescents there are those who could do it, and those who could not. During this period of the formation of the psyche, it is extremely important to take a certain place in the group, and the fear of being rejected by the group is much stronger than the fear of death and injury, ”explains psychoanalyst Alexander Sedov.
=How can parents deal with this evil?=
Nothing new: from the cradle to inspire the child exactly how to cross the road. And there are no more efficient ways. That is, to behave like all normal parents. And from about the same age, start explaining the difference between coolness and stupidity. Nevertheless, since the hype around this hashtag has already inflated, it will not be superfluous to talk again. And for drivers there is only one piece of advice, as old as the history of the automotive industry: if you see children or adolescents on the sidelines, slow down. Always. With or without a hashtag, you never know what comes to their mind.
"Disappear for 24 hours"
What it is? This is a call to hide so that no one will find you during the day. It is prohibited to take a mobile phone or any other means of communication with you. It is easy to imagine what kind of danger the child will put himself in at the same time and what will happen to the parents' nerves. The existence of such fun was reported to the world by the media, where two boys disappeared within 3 days. Moreover, according to their data, one of the boys definitely played in "Disappear for 24 hours", the second - "most likely." The boys were found alive and well, the police did not talk about any game, but, with the filing of the federal media, there appeared "a game that is distributed among schoolchildren on the Internet." True, there is no reliable information about other players yet. It is not a fact that such a phenomenon as “Disappear for 24 hours” exists at all. And certainly there is no talk of a mass hobby.
How can parents deal with this evil? The children did not start running away from home yesterday. The reasons are always the same: either a bad relationship with parents, or "towards adventure." In the latter case, a read "Tom Sawyer" may be enough. There is no other means of dealing with this besides parental attention. If you bring up a child, devote a lot of time to him, then with a high degree of probability you will understand that he has something in mind. And if you really miss the moment of escape, then contact the police in time. And the most important thing is that when the child is returned home (or he comes back on his own), do not give vent to anger, any competent teacher will advise you. Your task is not to punish the fugitive, but to prevent such "games" in the future. Conduct a debriefing, figure out what led to the escape, in general, negotiate with the child, conclude an agreement with him that will suit everyone. And do not be lazy to explain how dangerous it is. Believe it or not, a teenager may simply not understand this, despite the fact that he is already so big with you. “For a number of reasons, children are not able to objectively weigh the risks, the mental attitude“ nothing bad will happen to me ”is still too strong. Adolescents often attribute to the attributes of adulthood the right to control their own lives without having sufficient adult experience, taking too literally the phrase of adults “I am the master of my own destiny”
="Groups of death"=
What it is? But this is already very serious and really scary. According to the most optimistic estimates, the number of victims of this “game” in Russia is no less than 15 teenagers. All of them committed suicide, and all were in the so-called "death groups" on social networks. The starting point of the "game" is considered to be November 23, 2015 - on that day a girl known on the Web under the nickname Rina committed suicide. The circumstances of this tragedy were examined in detail by Novaya Gazeta. The article had the widest resonance. It was after her that they began not to talk about the "death groups", but to shout all over the country. However, the Investigative Committee of Russia claims that these groups began to appear on the network much earlier - in 2013. If you do not play with words, then the members of such "groups" are people who systematically prepare their own death under the guidance of the group administrator. They are gradually sent assignments, the last of which is suicide. Administrators of such groups most often go out to teenagers themselves, start a conversation, invite them to the "game". Such communities in social networks are always closed, which adds to their attractiveness in the eyes of teenagers - “I was invited, so I am the chosen one!”. In Kuzbass, there are no officially confirmed cases of suicide associated with "death groups". But this does not mean that our children do not know about them. They are very familiar with scary hashtags like # f57, # Morekits, or # nyapoka (we'll tell you more about them later). But the worst thing is that here, in Kuzbass, children receive offers to “start the game” from polite strangers.
No direct appeals, only hints of freedom that the "little whale" will gain. It even seems to be the other way around - it discourages me. But, when we in the editorial office got acquainted with this message, we felt unwell. And most importantly - what awaits the "player" next. This is what a Kemerovo high school student who received this message told the Sibdepo correspondent. “For example, # f57, # f58, # Morekits, # quiet house. You have to post on the wall with the suicide verse and these hashtags. Then the curator writes to you, you tell why you decided to commit suicide, write them your address, phone number. The first task is to make the inscription "whale" on the hand (there are others). Every day you will have to go into their conversation at 4:20 (this is the time, because there is something related to drugs). At this time, you listen to audio with shouts, squeals, etc. And every day you write on the wall how many days are left, there are 50 of them, every day - a new task, the last one - suicide. If you refuse, they start to intimidate you that they will come to your house (you told them the address yourself) and kill the whole family, call by phone and thus bring the child to suicide, ”the girl said about the rules of the“ game ”. Here are excerpts from the correspondence of our heroine with one such "playful".
You can applaud the girl and the parents who raised her. She quickly realized that this was no longer funny and stopped the conversation. But in her place there could be someone who would want to participate "for the sake of interest." And what then, we already know: network accesses at 04.20, tasks, whales, butterflies, "if you refuse, we will kill your family" and so on. And if the child is depressed? Having quarreled with his parents, parted with a girl / boyfriend ... But you never know what kind of nuisance may seem to a teenager the disaster of the century. And it is these children that are the main target of the “curators” from the “death groups”.
Who are they, these same "curators"? What drives them?
1 Fox version
-People who want popularity and play.
2 Internet users version
-Professionals working for the powerful enemies of Russia, with the help of "death groups" deprive our country of the future. They are subtle psychologists, they know how and where to deliver psychological blows and deprive the victim of will.
3 Psychoanalyst's version
-These people realize their unconscious needs, which they cannot realize in any other way: - unconscious sadistic inclinations, the desire to control people, to feel like a ruler over the lives of others. - realization of one's own aggressive impulse, the ability to live an extreme form of aggression - in fact, the murder of another person. - realization of the need for one's own greatness - gaining the status of an idol, a ruler over destinies, satisfaction from creating one's own cult.
How can parents deal with this evil?
-The best, of course, is to prevent evil. And for this you need to clearly understand why a child can decide to take such a terrible step, psychoanalyst Alexander Sedov is sure. “The indifference of the parents to the child’s problems, the inability of the child to open up to the parents; the problem of "must" - you have to learn this way, behave in this way, communicate with that. It should be the way the parents want you to be, and at the same time, the cultivation in the child of a constant feeling of guilt for the fact that the parents “go out of their way to make you the best, pay for everything, deny themselves, and you, ungrateful, you cannot reach the required heights ”. And what is “feeling of guilt” is aggression directed at oneself, the extreme degree of which is death, ”the psychoanalyst lists family problems. "Remind your children to avoid trusting relationships with virtual acquaintances and friends, do not give in to requests for anything in the online environment. When registering on sites and in social networks, you should take care of your privacy, do not share information about yourself and your friends. loved ones. "