Wacky Facts by Agent K #40: Did You Know That Sucking a King's Nipples Was a Great Thing in Ireland?
When I think of Ireland I usually think of very specific things: my Irish friends there, my ex's father John (who's from Limerick), U2 and Bono, potatoes and this guy right here....The most famous MMA fighter in the world today!
Source: Giphy
Occasionally, I will think of Van Morrison as well, but only because of one song I love titled "Brown Eyed Girl."
This morning during research, however, I discovered one more interesting fact about ancient Ireland. Apparently, sucking the king's nipples in Ireland, was seen as a gesture of kindness a few centuries ago.
The Menu of the Day
It may sound like a joke, but it's not. Sucking an Irish king's nipples was the ultimate way of showing your gratitude, appreciation and submission to him and the royal crown.
The Irish were so serious about the whole thing that there were official reception days that the King accepted guests and exposed his nipples in order to be worshiped. No shite!!!!!!
Source: Giphy
So, having no nipples could be a biggggg problem for any male who wished to be a king one day.
According to Huff Post, cutting off a royal descendant’s nipples made him ineligible for kingship. Not as subtle as poison, but undeniable evidence of his unsuitability for a kingly role. No nips, game over.
At least now we know where the expression "suck ass" derives from, no? Also you know what to do in order to schmooze your Irish friends. It won't be a problem if your Irish friends look like that, huh?
Irish model Laura Whitmore - Source: FHM
References
Nippled Irish Royalty and Their Less Fortunate, Usually Dead, Nippleless Relatives
Omg, I loved this one AND the comments!
Hahaha thanks @steemsamiam :))))
Congratulations teacher @tkappa, very good job, excellent article. There are many people who do not know about this, in the iron age the kiss or the suction of the nipples of a King was a gesture of submission.
May God take care of you and fill you with blessings.
Greetings.
Thanks for your good words, dear.
God bless you :)))
How does sucking ass relate to sucking nipples?? Lmaoo
That was kind of an IQ test but unfortunately no one paid attention to it. They had to SUCK nipples in order to kiss the king's ASS. Δηλαδή, they sucked his ass too ;)
Hhaha ok as you wish just don’t ask me to do either if you ever become a king
Do not worry, bruh. I would prefer a sexy chick to suck my nipples lol
Thanks @tkappa. Brilliantly funny and true!!!!
We still do it today!! When I get into work I greet my manager by sucking his nipples :-)
Love this post!! I never knew that sucking nipples was a thing with my ancestors.
hahah God! I would never show gratitude to any king :P